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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

264 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 119Your body 57Anger 45Low mood and hard feelings 24Worry and anxiety 13After harm 2Grief and loss 2Your marriage 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 610Five minutes 981Twenty minutes 264Longer 119
Who it is written for
A practitioner 254Me 253Someone I care about 172My husband or wife 11
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 134Struggling right now 80Getting ready for something 50
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 264Involves someone else 126Both of us together 76
Theme
Systems for daily life 23Moving your body 17Medication and how it works 13Your nervous system 12Get started 12Food, caffeine and fuel 10What ADHD actually is 10Treatment and medication 9What anger actually is 8Bringing the future closer 7Screens and attention 7Your sense of time 7Touch and bodywork 6Tolerate distress 6The moment before you snap 6Cool the body first 6Feelings and focus 6Reading, numbers and learning differences 5The fear underneath anger 5Grounding and settling 5When you use something to cope 4Exercise, food and other supports 4Shame 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Remembering to do it 4When everything feels flat 4Practising under provocation 3Emotions as signals 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Equanimity and perspective 3Shame and stigma 3Being seen and judged 3Use your strengths 3Breathing 3Choosing your response 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Structure and routine 2Breaking the worry loop 2When anger turns to harm 2Making it stick 2Feeling from the inside 2Facing it a step at a time 2Letting it out safely 2Keep the bond 1Repair after rupture 1What worry does 1The cost of avoiding 1What you are actually defending 1Rest and pacing 1Safety and grounding 1Shared spiritual life 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Treatment and medication 1Question the thought 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
ADHD skills 82Medical and treatment 57Body based 36Core 31CBT 22Mindfulness 10Trauma informed 7DBT skills 5Grief 4Emotionally focused 4Gottman 3Narrative 2Parts work 1
When
Any ordinary day 201Under stress 31In a change 14Coming and going 9After a row 7When apart 1Something good 1

Steadiness under provocation is built the way immunity is, in small doses taken on purpose, at a size you can still handle. Waiting for a real fight to test yourself is too big a dose to learn anything from.

In practice that means choosing something that stings a little and staying with it rather than swerving: the colleague whose tone you brace against,…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:35

What you are proudest of will tell you where you are most easily wounded. The two grow on the same root.

Write down two or three things you would hate to be thought about you, then look at where they meet your ordinary week. Who is likely to imply it, in…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 3:200

Go to the gym without the getting ready. No mirror check, no fixing your hair, just train and come home.

This works because it lands exactly where many people quietly keep their worth, and because the real consequences are nil. Nobody there is thinking…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 22:35

A belief about yourself comes with a feeling somewhere in the body, an emotion, and a set of things you then do or avoid. Argue only with the words and the rest of it carries on exactly as before.

This is the gap behind I know it is not true but I do not feel it. Next time you catch the belief, note where it sits physically, what emotion turned…

Twenty minutesQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 3:191

There is a point where a to do list stops being a tool and becomes something you flinch away from. If you have not opened yours in a fortnight, it has passed that point.

The usual advice is to work through it, which is precisely what nobody does with a list that long. It is kinder and quicker to start a fresh page…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:24

Take one of the gaps you already have, the commute or the walk or the shower, and use it to ask what is coming up this week and what might be slipping. No new tool, no new app, just the question.

That turns something accidental into something you can count on. It works best in the same place each time, so that the place starts asking the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

Anything that comes round every month should be leaving your account without you. Direct debits and standing orders take the remembering out of the job altogether, which beats any reminder you could set.

It is worth an afternoon. List what recurs, automate what can be automated, and put one calendar note to check the statement each month instead of…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 23:8

Every extra step in a task is another place to lose it. Three clicks and done beats a process with a form, an envelope and a walk to the postbox, even when the second one saves a little money.

Before you commit to a routine, count its steps, then take some out. Bin bags stored next to the bin, stamps kept with the envelopes, paying on the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 16:91

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Rest is not the prize waiting at the end of the work. It is part of what makes the work possible, and it does not have to be earned first.

Self control runs down over a day the way a battery does, and the thing that fills it back up is properly stopping. What that looks like is yours to…

Twenty minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 10:67

If you carry a firm picture of how the world is supposed to work, the world will break it several times a day. No coping skill outpaces a supply of grievance that never runs out.

This is not a case for caring less about fairness. It is about telling apart an injustice you could act on from the general refusal of life to be…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:104

Anger runs on the word should, and should is a word about debt. Write out what you believe this person owes you, then mark which of those they ever actually agreed to.

Most lists come out in two parts. There are the real agreements, said out loud and accepted, and there are the ones you assumed any decent person…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 4:58

Anger sticks around because it works, at least in the short run. Before trying to put it down, be honest about what it has been buying you.

Usually it is some form of leverage: people move faster, back down, stop asking. Sometimes it is plainer than that, a way to feel like something…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 9:105

Build one place or time in your day that reliably feels safe, and return to it when you need steadying.

Healing needs a floor to stand on. A predictable pocket of safety is that floor; protect it.

Twenty minutesSafety and groundingTrauma informedQur’an 6:82

Check, feel the small relief, put it down, feel the pull again a minute later. If your phone use has that shape, it is running like a compulsion, whatever else it is.

The structure matters more here than the label. An urge rises, checking brings it down, and every check teaches the urge to come back sooner. Which…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 6:68

Sitting with one long unrewarding task has got harder for almost everyone. If you are planning work for yourself, or setting it for someone else, build the variety in rather than hoping for stamina.

In practice that means breaking a long stretch into shorter ones with something marking the end of each, changing what the work looks like part way…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

A whole evening can go into recording an evening. It is worth asking, with no scolding in it, whether you were there for the thing you now have a photograph of.

This lands better than a rule about hours, because it is about something you would miss rather than something you are doing wrong. Try leaving the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 28:77

If the phone was giving you company, an evening class in something practical will not cover it. Match what you put in its place to what it was actually providing.

Subtracting an hour and leaving the hour empty is the version that collapses by Thursday. If it was company, the replacement has people in it. If it…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 28:77

Write down three to five things you actually enjoy, small ones, and do one of them a day. That is the whole instruction.

They have to be yours rather than the ones that sound impressive. Sitting in the garden with tea counts. Ten minutes on the guitar counts. Keep the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 33:35

Most parents setting rules about an app have never scrolled it for ten minutes. The rules are usually reasonable and the picture underneath them is missing.

This is not really about being permissive. If you do not know that the feed is chosen for you, that one worried search brings a fortnight of similar…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 17:36

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.