Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1974 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60The fear underneath anger 57Equanimity and perspective 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52What ADHD actually is 49Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46Exercise, food and other supports 44When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Practising under provocation 36Staying regulated in conflict 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25Treatment and medication 24What worry does 24Feeling from the inside 23Tolerate distress 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Fondness and admiration 13Breaking the worry loop 13Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Answering bids 13Self-compassion 12Emotions as signals 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Shame 10Knowing your partner 10Use your strengths 9Repair after rupture 8Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8When anger turns to harm 7Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Name what you feel 3Act on your values 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Panic and the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Validate yourself and others 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
When

Sort the work into hardest, middling and easiest, then choose the order on purpose. Easy first for momentum or hard first while you are sharp, both are fine. What is not fine is letting the most interesting thing win by default.

Write the three piles on paper and then pick. If you tend to run out of steam by three in the afternoon, the hard thing belongs in the morning. If…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Work, friends, games and news all happen on the same rectangle, so nothing in your surroundings tells you which one you are in. Software has to do the job the room used to do.

A blocker that shuts the usual sites during your working hours, a tracker that shows you afterwards where the time actually went, or a small app that…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 50:17

Keep both tools, and settle in advance where each thing goes. The deciding is what wears you out, so make that decision once instead of forty times a week.

The rule can be a single line inside the front cover: if it has a time, calendar; if it has a deadline but no time, list. Then writing things down…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:55

Some things can only be done between nine and five, and those are the ones that quietly fail. Ring the bank, chase the appointment, sort the form: give those a time before anything else.

The failure is silent. You mean to do it all day, the office closes, and it rolls to tomorrow where the same thing happens again. Go through your…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Before you try to prioritise better, check whether there is any order in there at all. Plenty of people who feel stuck cannot say which of their jobs is genuinely required and which is merely wanted.

You can test it in a couple of minutes. Write the things down and mark the ones that carry a real consequence if they do not happen this week. If you…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Some jobs never move because they were never yours. Somebody else wanted them and you wrote them down to be kind.

You can usually spot one: the item that has been copied onto three different lists and never once started. The trouble is not that the work is hard.…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

For the item that never gets done, make an actual decision: cross it off, or find a way to genuinely want it. Leaving it sitting there is the only option that costs you every single day.

Taking it on often works through a person rather than through the task. You may not care about the paperwork, but you care about whoever is waiting…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2

Saying no accurately depends on a calendar you actually keep. You cannot check whether Thursday is free if Thursday looks blank when it is not.

This is what makes the fiddly work of maintaining a diary worth doing. Nobody keeps a calendar for the pleasure of keeping one. You keep it so that…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

But what if I need it one day? The honest answer is that keeping it has a daily price. A list you cannot find anything in has stopped being a list.

The thing you might want once in two years is sitting on top of the thing you need on Thursday. That holds for a to-do list, a desk and a spare room…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

ADHD clutter and hoarding look alike from the doorway and are not the same thing. Many people living among piles would be delighted if the lot vanished overnight.

Hoarding is about not being able to part with things. This is more often about sorting being unbearable, or about keeping something in case it turns…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 16:43

Distraction and disorder feed each other. Every hunt for the missing keys is a perfect opening for your attention to wander off somewhere more interesting.

Which is why sorting the house out is not a side project to the attention problem. Ten minutes of searching is precisely the dull, shapeless stretch…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Every small snag in a task is an exit. The forgotten password, the missing form, the bit where you are not sure what happens next: each one is a chance to say forget it, I will do this later.

So do the snag hunting before you sit down rather than during. Have the login to hand, the papers in one place, the next step written in words a…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Make one list in the morning, glance at it a few times during the day, and move whatever is left onto tomorrow's list rather than letting it disappear.

The glancing matters as much as the writing, since a list written at eight and never looked at again is just a piece of paper. Carrying items forward…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59

Set the room up so that movement is already there for the taking: somewhere to stand, something to hold, a chair that lets you shift. Then nobody has to decide in the moment whether it is allowed.

This is a change to furniture and habit, not to willpower. A standing spot for part of the day, a wobble cushion, knitting or whittling while you…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:28

If attention is the diagnosis and reading, writing or maths is still unusually hard, ask whether there is a second thing sitting underneath. The two travel together often enough that one label is rarely the whole story.

A specific difficulty with reading, written expression or number sits alongside attention problems in a large share of cases, and it needs its own…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 16:43

Keeping your own prescription going is a skill like any other: when to reorder, who to ring, what to do when the pharmacy has none. Better learned before the week you need it.

Put the whole thing in one place: the name and dose, the surgery or clinic, how far ahead a repeat has to go in, what happens when you travel, who to…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 96:4

Whatever system you build has to survive a bad day. When feeling comes in a wave, the calendar and the checklist are the first things to go, so decide now what that hour looks like.

Write down the smallest possible version of the day: the two things that still happen, everything else forgiven until tomorrow. Have somewhere for…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:283

Book time on your own the way you would book anything else. Not as a reward for having finished everything, and not only once you are already frayed.

Overwhelm often comes from the sheer volume of contact rather than from the work: lectures, housemates, group chats, the phone going all evening.…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

When something has become impossible, start far below it. Sitting in the parked car with the engine off is a real first step, and it is the one that gets somewhere.

Choose a version so small it feels slightly ridiculous, repeat it until it is dull, then add one notch. Sit in the car. Then start the engine. Then…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

If it is out of sight it is gone, so build the system around what you can see. Clothes on an open shelf and books in the drawer is a perfectly good arrangement when that is what works.

Tidy usually means hidden, which is why so much storage quietly fails. Try the opposite: hooks instead of hangers, open boxes, a clear jar, one bowl…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.