Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

10 practices

Knowing your partner Coping, mostly On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 9 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for

Me 10 My husband or wife 10

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Involves someone else 15 On my own 10

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 52 Your nervous system 52 What anger actually is 45 Choosing your response 41 Get started 41 The moment before you snap 39 Systems for daily life 39 The fear underneath anger 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Equanimity and perspective 36 Your sense of time 31 Bringing the future closer 30 Moving your body 30 Touch and bodywork 30 Treatment and medication 27 Getting assessed and diagnosed 26 When everything feels flat 26 Exercise, food and other supports 26 Feelings and focus 25 Grounding and settling 22 What ADHD actually is 21 Food, caffeine and fuel 19 Practising under provocation 19 Cool the body first 18 Making it stick 18 Structure and routine 18 Screens and attention 17 What you are actually defending 17 What worry does 17 Treatment and medication 16 Growing empathy 15 Breathing 15 Fondness and admiration 13 Answering bids 13 Being seen and judged 12 Feeling from the inside 12 Shame and stigma 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 12 Remembering to do it 11 Knowing your partner 10 Self-compassion 8 Tolerate distress 8 Emotions as signals 8 Repair after rupture 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Use your strengths 7 When you use something to cope 7 Breaking the worry loop 7 Gratitude 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Facing it a step at a time 6 When anger turns to harm 5 Question the thought 5 Meaning after harm 4 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 3 Safety and grounding 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Working with anger 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Let the wave come 3 Calm the body 3 Name what you feel 3 Affection and touch 2 Keep the bond 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Listen to the body 2 Get it out of your head 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Patience and trust 2 Rest and pacing 2 Ride the urge 2 Rituals of connection 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Hold a boundary 2 Living with uncertainty 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Panic and the body 1 When you go numb 1 Listening and understanding 1 Validate yourself and others 1

Approach

Gottman 4 Emotionally focused 4 Core 2

When

Any ordinary day 8 Under stress 2

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:186

Be the first to lower your guard today, even a little, and say something true and soft.

Someone has to move first. Let it be you, with one honest, undefended sentence.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 20:44

Find the longing under your complaint, and voice the longing instead.

Under you are never home is I miss you, I want more of you. Say the wish, not the jab.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask your spouse what is weighing on them this week, and remember the answer.

Not how was your day. What is heavy right now. Then carry a corner of it in your mind.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Notice one way your spouse has changed lately, and let your picture of them catch up.

People keep becoming someone new. Ask about the new thing rather than assuming the old.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 13:28

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:152

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.