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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices
Knowing your partner remove filterMe remove filterCore remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 3Five minutes 3
Who it is written for · Me
Me 6My husband or wife 6
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 4On my own 2
Theme · Knowing your partner
What anger actually is 89The fear underneath anger 51Choosing your response 47The moment before you snap 41Equanimity and perspective 23Making it stick 15What you are actually defending 14Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Staying regulated in conflict 12Screens and attention 11Answering bids 7Knowing your partner 6Repair after rupture 5Affection and touch 5Rituals of connection 5Gratitude 5Fondness and admiration 5Cool the body first 5When anger turns to harm 5Shared spiritual life 4Question the thought 3Working with anger 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Act on your values 2
Approach · Core
Emotionally focused 10Gottman 9Core 6

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.