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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Repair after rupture remove filterA minute remove filterCore remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 4Five minutes 1
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 4Me 4
On your own, or with someone
On my own 3Involves someone else 1
Theme · Repair after rupture
What anger actually is 26Choosing your response 25The moment before you snap 22The fear underneath anger 22Staying regulated in conflict 11Answering bids 7Making it stick 6Equanimity and perspective 5Fondness and admiration 5Gratitude 5Affection and touch 4Repair after rupture 4Rituals of connection 3What you are actually defending 3Knowing your partner 3When anger turns to harm 2Screens and attention 2Question the thought 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Cool the body first 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Shared spiritual life 1Working with anger 1Treatment and medication 1
Approach · Core
Gottman 5Emotionally focused 4Core 4

Make one repair attempt in the middle of a disagreement: a softer word, a small joke, a hand.

The couples who last are not those who never fight, but those who reach for each other mid-fight.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 49:10

Accept their repair attempt even while you are still a little angry.

Letting a small peace offering land, before you feel finished, is its own kind of strength.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 42:40

Take the word if out of your apology.

An apology with if in it quietly takes itself back; without it, the apology is whole.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 41:34

Let go of one old grievance about something they have already changed.

Holding a debt they have already paid keeps the wound open to no one's good.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 64:14

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.