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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices
Me remove filterSomething good remove filterClear all
Area
Your marriage 4Focus, starting, and ADHD 1Anger 1
How long you have
A minute 3Five minutes 1Twenty minutes 2
Who it is written for · Me
Me 6My husband or wife 4Someone I care about 2A practitioner 1
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 3On my own 3
Theme
Answering bids 3Rituals of connection 1Screens and attention 1What you are actually defending 1
Approach
Core 4Gottman 1Emotionally focused 1
When · Something good
Any ordinary day 1619Under stress 474After a row 183In a change 92Coming and going 69When apart 12Something good 6

Be the first person your spouse wants to tell good news to, by delighting when they do.

Meet their small wins with real, curious gladness, so you stay their first call.

A minuteAnswering bidsEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

When they share good news, ask a question about it.

The next time your spouse tells you something good, do not just say "that's great." Ask about it. How did it happen? What did you say? How did it…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Let them tell the good story twice.

Sharing a joy and being met with delight makes the joy larger and the bond warmer.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

A whole evening can go into recording an evening. It is worth asking, with no scolding in it, whether you were there for the thing you now have a photograph of.

This lands better than a rule about hours, because it is about something you would miss rather than something you are doing wrong. Try leaving the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 28:77

A cold-blooded animal that catches its dinner after dark cannot digest it until the sun comes back. It has the meal and it cannot use it.

That is what it looks like when good things only count once somebody else notices. The work is finished, the result is in, and it means nothing until…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 64:16

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.