Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices

Staying regulated in conflict Me Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 10 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for · Me

Me 11 My husband or wife 11

On your own, or with someone

On my own 9 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Staying regulated in conflict

Medication and how it works 132Your nervous system 85 Systems for daily life 80 Get started 68 Food, caffeine and fuel 53 Your sense of time 52 The moment before you snap 49 Moving your body 48 What anger actually is 48 Choosing your response 45 Bringing the future closer 45 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Equanimity and perspective 36 Screens and attention 35 Grounding and settling 33 What ADHD actually is 33 Touch and bodywork 31 The fear underneath anger 31 Practising under provocation 30 Getting assessed and diagnosed 30 Growing empathy 28 Treatment and medication 28 Feelings and focus 28 When everything feels flat 27 Structure and routine 27 Being seen and judged 24 Breathing 23 Cool the body first 23 Shame and stigma 22 Making it stick 21 Remembering to do it 20 Knowing your partner 20 Treatment and medication 18 What worry does 17 When you use something to cope 17 Shared spiritual life 16 Breaking the worry loop 15 Feeling from the inside 15 Fondness and admiration 14 Facing it a step at a time 13 What you are actually defending 13 Answering bids 12 Tolerate distress 11 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Listening and understanding 10 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Posture and how you carry yourself 9 Gratitude 9 Use your strengths 8 Self-compassion 8 Emotions as signals 8 Affection and touch 7 Rituals of connection 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Shame 5 Living with uncertainty 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Rest and pacing 3 Repair after rupture 3 When you go numb 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 The cost of avoiding 3 Meaning after harm 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Act on your values 2 Find meaning 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 1 Listen to the body 1 Panic and the body 1 Safety and grounding 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Reading, numbers and learning differences 1

Approach

Gottman 8 Emotionally focused 2 Core 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 28 Under stress 20 Any ordinary day 11 Coming and going 1

If you tend to go quiet, step back in today and say one honest sentence.

Silence protects you but starves them. One true line reopens the connection.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70

If you tend to press, soften your approach today: ask once, gently, then wait.

The push that seeks closeness often creates distance. Try a softer, slower reach.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 41:34

On one small slight today, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt out loud in your mind.

The late reply, the short tone. Choose the reading that is not an attack. Usually it is truer.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Assume your spouse meant well today, even when it landed wrong, and respond to the intent.

Clumsy is not the same as unkind. Answer what they meant, not only how it came out.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Catch yourself keeping score today, and set the ledger down.

I did this, so they owe that. Love kept as accounting slowly turns cold. Drop the tally.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 24:22

On the old recurring issue, raise it once this week more gently than you ever have.

Most problems between two people never fully resolve. The task is to soften how you carry them.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 41:34

Reframe one difference with your spouse as a dream to understand, not a flaw to fix.

Behind their stubborn stance is usually something they value. Ask what it protects.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:13

Lower your voice instead of matching theirs.

When the volume rises today, go the other way. Not silence, not martyrdom. Just quieter. It is one of the few moves that de-escalates without…

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictCoreQur’an 3:159

Yield to win: give ground in a disagreement the way you would for someone you love, not as a defeat.

Accepting influence from your partner is strength, not weakness. Generosity in giving in wins the relationship.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 2:237

Accept that some differences between you are enduring, not problems to be solved. Learn to live with them gently.

Most perpetual conflicts never fully resolve. The task is dialogue and acceptance, not a final verdict.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 11:118

For a compromise, name your one true core need, then be genuinely flexible on everything around it.

Separate the small inflexible core from the wide flexible area. Guard the core, give on the rest.

Five minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.