Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Rebuilding trust Me Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for · Me

My husband or wife 5 Me 5

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 4 On my own 1

Theme · Rebuilding trust

Medication and how it works 132Your nervous system 85 Systems for daily life 80 Get started 68 Food, caffeine and fuel 53 Your sense of time 52 The moment before you snap 49 What anger actually is 48 Moving your body 48 Choosing your response 45 Bringing the future closer 45 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Equanimity and perspective 36 Screens and attention 35 What ADHD actually is 33 Grounding and settling 33 The fear underneath anger 31 Touch and bodywork 31 Getting assessed and diagnosed 30 Practising under provocation 30 Feelings and focus 28 Growing empathy 28 Treatment and medication 28 When everything feels flat 27 Structure and routine 27 Being seen and judged 24 Cool the body first 23 Breathing 23 Shame and stigma 22 Making it stick 21 Remembering to do it 20 Knowing your partner 20 Treatment and medication 18 What worry does 17 When you use something to cope 17 Shared spiritual life 16 Feeling from the inside 15 Breaking the worry loop 15 Fondness and admiration 14 What you are actually defending 13 Facing it a step at a time 13 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Tolerate distress 11 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Listening and understanding 10 Gratitude 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 9 Self-compassion 8 Emotions as signals 8 Use your strengths 8 Affection and touch 7 Rituals of connection 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Shame 5 Your worth is not conditional 3 When you go numb 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Rest and pacing 3 The cost of avoiding 3 Repair after rupture 3 Get it out of your head 2 Keep the bond 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Meaning after harm 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Work with your brain 2 Care for yourself in loss 1 Safety and grounding 1 Reading, numbers and learning differences 1 Panic and the body 1 Listen to the body 1 Your window of tolerance 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 9 Any ordinary day 5 Under stress 2 Coming and going 1

Deliberately hold your partner's good qualities in mind, and let cherishing crowd out resentful thoughts.

After trust is rebuilding, nurture cherishing: recall and dwell on what you value in them, on purpose.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:74

Rebuild the small rituals of connection that eroded: predictable, reliable moments you can both count on.

Betrayal usually follows the quiet loss of daily connection. Restore steady rituals you can rely on to reconnect.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 70:23

Do not try to restore the old marriage. Build a new one, on honesty, transparency, and witnessing each other's truths.

The relationship before cannot be recovered as it was. Aim instead for a second marriage, to the same person, on firmer ground.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 30:21

Atonement is not only apology; it is changed behavior over time. Let your actions become the apology.

Words open the door; sustained new behavior walks through it. Trust returns through consistency, not speeches.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:70

Let the hurt partner set the pace of healing. It takes as long as it takes; there is no rushing trust back.

You cannot demand that trust return on a schedule. Honor the injured partner's timeline without pressure.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:286

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.