Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Knowing your partner Five minutes Me Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 14 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for · Me

My husband or wife 8 Me 8

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 7 On my own 1

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 97 Your nervous system 67 What anger actually is 50 Equanimity and perspective 42 The moment before you snap 39 Touch and bodywork 37 Getting assessed and diagnosed 35 Choosing your response 35 Grounding and settling 35 Get started 34 Systems for daily life 34 Your sense of time 32 Exercise, food and other supports 32 Food, caffeine and fuel 30 When everything feels flat 28 Practising under provocation 28 The fear underneath anger 27 What ADHD actually is 26 Feelings and focus 25 Bringing the future closer 25 Screens and attention 23 Moving your body 21 Cool the body first 20 Treatment and medication 18 Shame and stigma 18 Breathing 18 What you are actually defending 16 Feeling from the inside 16 What worry does 15 Breaking the worry loop 15 Remembering to do it 15 Being seen and judged 14 Emotions as signals 14 Structure and routine 13 Growing empathy 13 When you use something to cope 11 Tolerate distress 11 Making it stick 11 Treatment and medication 10 Facing it a step at a time 9 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Obsessions and compulsions 9 Rebuilding trust 9 Righteous anger and perfectionism 8 Knowing your partner 8 Self-compassion 7 Shame 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 6 Question the thought 5 Listening and understanding 5 When you go numb 4 Shared spiritual life 4 Living with uncertainty 3 Use your strengths 3 When anger turns to harm 3 Rituals of connection 3 Work with your brain 2 Rest and pacing 2 Repair after rupture 2 Meaning after harm 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Ask and say no well 1 Affection and touch 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Calm the body 1 Working with anger 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Let the wave come 1 Panic and the body 1

Approach

Core 3 Emotionally focused 3 Gottman 2

When

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 2

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.