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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

14 practices
Affection and touch remove filterA minute remove filterMe remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 14Five minutes 1
Who it is written for · Me
My husband or wife 14Me 14
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 12On my own 2
Theme · Affection and touch
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 33What anger actually is 25Your nervous system 24Grounding and settling 24Medication and how it works 23Answering bids 22Bringing the future closer 22Systems for daily life 22The fear underneath anger 21Get started 20Equanimity and perspective 17Fondness and admiration 15Your sense of time 15Practising under provocation 14Treatment and medication 14Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Making it stick 13Repair after rupture 13Growing empathy 13Feelings and focus 12Touch and bodywork 12Structure and routine 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Breathing 9Gratitude 9Being seen and judged 8Listening and understanding 8When everything feels flat 8Exercise, food and other supports 8What ADHD actually is 7Remembering to do it 7Tolerate distress 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Moving your body 7Treatment and medication 6What worry does 6What you are actually defending 6Shared spiritual life 6Rituals of connection 6Screens and attention 5Rebuilding trust 5Shame and stigma 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Feeling from the inside 4Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Emotions as signals 3Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Shame 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Ride the urge 2Validate yourself and others 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Meaning after harm 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Let the wave come 2Hold a boundary 2Facing it a step at a time 2When you use something to cope 2Calm the body 2The cost of avoiding 2Care for yourself in loss 1Help someone grieving 1When you go numb 1Get it out of your head 1Act on your values 1Panic and the body 1Ask and say no well 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Rest and pacing 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Keep the bond 1
Approach
Emotionally focused 8Core 4Gottman 2
When
Any ordinary day 6Under stress 6Coming and going 1After a row 1

When your spouse is hurting today, be the place they come to, not one more thing to manage.

Move toward the pain, not away. A hand, a nearness, a steady I am here.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

When fear or hurt makes you want to hide today, reach for your spouse instead.

The instinct is to withdraw. Do the opposite: move toward, take a hand, let them in.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

When your spouse reaches today, respond with tenderness before anything else.

Not advice, not a fix. First a soft word or a warm hand, then the rest.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159

After a hard moment today, hold each other before you move on.

Words can wait. A held embrace after conflict settles the body and the bond.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Give your spouse one embrace today that lasts longer than usual, until you both soften.

A hug held past the polite second. Long enough for the shoulders to drop.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

When your spouse is overwhelmed today, sit close and let your calm steady them.

You do not have to fix it. A steady body beside a flooded one helps it settle.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:40

Offer your spouse warm touch today with nothing asked in return.

A hand on the shoulder, a passing squeeze. Contact that is only kindness, not a request.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Let your presence be the place your spouse can fall apart safely today.

No performance required with you. Make your nearness the one place they can just be.

A minuteAffection and touchEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:187

Make one greeting or parting linger a few seconds longer than usual today.

A held hug at the door, a real kiss, not the quick automatic one. Let it last.

A minuteAffection and touchGottmanQur’an 30:21

Touch them once today with nothing else attached.

A hand on the shoulder as you pass. Sitting close on the sofa. Reaching for their hand while you talk about nothing. No agenda, no next step. Just…

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

Hold their hand while you talk about something completely ordinary.

Touch with no request attached is a language of safety all its own.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

When they are upset, move physically closer before you say anything.

Nearness often comforts before any words can, and asks nothing in return.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 30:21

Make them laugh once today, on purpose.

Shared lightness is not frivolous; it is a thread that keeps two people close.

A minuteAffection and touchCoreQur’an 2:187

Kiss, hold, and touch each other daily, at partings, reunions, and before bed. Learn the touch your partner likes.

Affection is not only for special moments. Small, regular touch keeps warmth and closeness alive.

A minuteAffection and touchGottmanQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.