Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

24 practices

Answering bids Me Clear all

How long you have

A minute 22 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for · Me

Me 24 My husband or wife 24

On your own, or with someone

On my own 13 Involves someone else 11

Theme · Answering bids

Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 73 Grounding and settling 67 Equanimity and perspective 66 Moving your body 63 Cool the body first 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 Feelings and focus 58 The fear underneath anger 58 Bringing the future closer 58 Your sense of time 58 Touch and bodywork 56 Getting assessed and diagnosed 50 What ADHD actually is 48 Practising under provocation 46 Exercise, food and other supports 46 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 42 Screens and attention 40 Breathing 34 Growing empathy 34 Shame and stigma 30 Being seen and judged 30 Making it stick 30 Structure and routine 28 Remembering to do it 26 Tolerate distress 26 Knowing your partner 25 Treatment and medication 25 What worry does 25 Answering bids 24 What you are actually defending 23 Feeling from the inside 23 Breaking the worry loop 23 Emotions as signals 22 When you use something to cope 22 Repair after rupture 19 Facing it a step at a time 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 Obsessions and compulsions 14 Rituals of connection 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Shame 13 Listening and understanding 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 The cost of avoiding 7 When you go numb 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Letting it out safely 4 Safety and grounding 4 Meaning after harm 4 Let the wave come 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Name what you feel 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Calm the body 3 Ask and say no well 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Ride the urge 2 Get it out of your head 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Patience and trust 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Find meaning 2 Listen to the body 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Keep the bond 2

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Gottman 7 Core 7

When

Any ordinary day 12 Under stress 9 Something good 3

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.