Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

88 practices

The moment before you snap Me Clear all

How long you have

A minute 39 Five minutes 39 Twenty minutes 8 Longer 2

Who it is written for · Me

Me 88 A practitioner 80 Someone I care about 27 My husband or wife 7

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 43 Struggling right now 27 Getting ready for something 18

On your own, or with someone

On my own 76 Involves someone else 10 Both of us together 2

Theme · The moment before you snap

Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 73 Grounding and settling 67 Equanimity and perspective 66 Moving your body 63 Cool the body first 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 Feelings and focus 58 The fear underneath anger 58 Bringing the future closer 58 Your sense of time 58 Touch and bodywork 56 Getting assessed and diagnosed 50 What ADHD actually is 48 Practising under provocation 46 Exercise, food and other supports 46 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 42 Screens and attention 40 Breathing 34 Growing empathy 34 Making it stick 30 Shame and stigma 30 Being seen and judged 30 Structure and routine 28 Tolerate distress 26 Remembering to do it 26 Treatment and medication 25 Knowing your partner 25 What worry does 25 Answering bids 24 Feeling from the inside 23 What you are actually defending 23 Breaking the worry loop 23 Emotions as signals 22 When you use something to cope 22 Repair after rupture 19 Facing it a step at a time 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Obsessions and compulsions 14 Listening and understanding 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Rituals of connection 13 Shame 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 The cost of avoiding 7 Living with uncertainty 5 Rest and pacing 5 When you go numb 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Act on your values 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Face it gently 2 Patience and trust 2 Work with your brain 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ride the urge 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Listen to the body 2 Get it out of your head 2 Help someone grieving 2 Find meaning 2 Ask and say no well 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Your window of tolerance 2

Approach

Mindfulness 43 Core 41 CBT 4

When

Any ordinary day 49 Under stress 32 After a row 7

If waiting has always been hard for you, and your attention has always been restless, that belongs in the anger picture rather than in a separate story.

Irritability, reactivity and a mind that will not settle often arrive as a set. Working on the anger while ignoring the attention leaves the ground…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 2:268

Most of us rehearse the crushing line we wish we had said. Try spending that same time writing what you would actually like to say next time, and keep it short enough to remember.

Take one real episode from the past week and write two things: what happened, and one sentence you would rather have used. Something like I am…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 41:34

Say the difficult sentence out loud, on your feet, in something like the real conditions. Thinking it through in your head is a different skill from getting it out of your mouth when your pulse is up.

Acting it out feels awkward and that awkwardness is part of why it works: the version of you who has to speak is the aroused one, so that is the…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 41:35

The hidden finger tap is weaker than a mark on paper. Better to know that now than to find it out when it fails you.

A written page holds you to it. The marks are still there afterwards, and there is no pretending you drifted for ten minutes. So learn it that way…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 16:98

It helps to get one real taste of this early, in a single sitting, rather than waiting weeks to find out whether any of it is for you.

A first go that actually works gives you a reason to come back, and plenty of people never do come back. But one sitting builds nothing on its own.…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 23:98

Even one go at this leaves you with something. You have seen for yourself that the anger can be handled, and that does not expire when you walk out of the room.

The picture is not killing the anger off. It is closer to getting a big animal under control and walking it home: still strong, still yours, going…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 42:37

The alarm stores as well as reacts. Every flare that ends badly teaches it a little, and so does every one you handle gently.

That is why triggers pile up over a lifetime, and why one calm response never feels like it changed anything. It is doing work you cannot see yet.…

LongerThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 41:34

This started as a way to stop yourself snapping, and it will do that. It also happens to be a way of noticing your whole life while you are in it.

The same watching works on wanting, on worrying, on the hour you lose to your phone. Anger is just the doorway you came in through, usually because…

LongerThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 13:11

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.