Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

60 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Systems for daily life
Medication and how it works 91Systems for daily life 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Grounding and settling 24Practising under provocation 22Treatment and medication 22What ADHD actually is 20Screens and attention 20Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Repair after rupture 19Being seen and judged 18Making it stick 18Breathing 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Treatment and medication 15Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15What worry does 15Emotions as signals 14Listening and understanding 13Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Breaking the worry loop 13Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Feeling from the inside 12Gratitude 9Tolerate distress 9When you use something to cope 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Let the wave come 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3When anger turns to harm 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Care for yourself in loss 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Validate yourself and others 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2The cost of avoiding 2Ask and say no well 2Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1Shame 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1When you go numb 1
Approach
When

Charge the phone in another room overnight. Not face down, not on the far side of the bed: another room, so that reaching it means standing up.

Distance is what does the work here, which is why the halfway versions never hold. If you use it as an alarm, a cheap clock settles that for the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3

Praise the sitting down at the desk, not only the finished piece. If recognition only shows up when something is completed, most weeks it never shows up at all.

Say what you actually saw, and say it close to the moment: you sat down twice today when you clearly did not want to. Small rewards work too, as long…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Use a timer you can see rather than one you have to read. A dial where the coloured part shrinks tells you how much is left at a glance, with no arithmetic in the way.

Set it for the length of the task, or for the length you can stand, and leave it where your eye falls. A digital countdown asks you to work out what…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 27:40

When something has sat undone for weeks, ask what next month's version of you would say about it. Relieved it is finished, or honestly indifferent?

If future you would be relieved, this is procrastination and it needs a hand: a smaller first step, a set time, someone alongside you. If future you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

An hour exists somewhere in the week for almost anything. That is what makes yes so easy, and it is not the same as having an hour.

The question that gets skipped is not whether the time exists but what is already claiming it. Answering that means calling to mind everything you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Practise one sentence until it comes out on its own: let me check and come back to you. It buys the few minutes you need to answer truthfully.

The moment of being asked is the hard part, because the yes is out of your mouth before any checking has happened. Having one phrase ready means you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Put the uncertainty at the front. Not Thursday, possibly Friday, most likely Monday is worth far more to the other person than a confident yes you cannot keep.

It feels worse to say, which is why people avoid it. But a hedge given early costs you nothing, while a promise broken later costs twice: the thing…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

The cheapest place to deal with a task is before it ever reaches your list. Some things are better declined in the moment they are offered.

Once something is written down it starts costing you. It gets read, moved to next week, copied out again, felt guilty about. Filtering at the door…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Let the child score themselves on the same sheet the teacher scores. Two columns, filled in separately, then looked at together.

At first the two columns can be miles apart, and that is the useful bit rather than a problem. Nobody is being caught out. Over the weeks the gap…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

Before anything else, check the child actually knows what the homework is. Most homework goes missing at that first step, not at the effort step.

It might be on the board, on the school portal or in the planner with the teacher having glanced at it, and any of those is fine as long as it can be…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Print the agreement out and stick it up where the child will see it. In a drawer it may as well not exist.

The moment that matters is the one where the console is right there and the maths is not started, and nothing you agreed a fortnight ago is in the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

Before a task you have been circling for days, give five minutes to moving your body. A brisk walk or a couple of flights of stairs is often enough to make starting feel less like pushing at a door that will not open.

Treat the movement as part of the task rather than something virtuous you do separately. The lift is short lived, so it helps most sitting right…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 20:114

Light movement while you work is not stolen from the work. Rocking a foot, standing up, a slow circuit of the room on a call: for many people the concentration goes up rather than down.

Worth testing instead of assuming. Take one task you always do sitting still and do it moving gently: read on your feet, take the meeting walking,…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 22:78

Do not leave it to eleven at night to decide whether to close the tab. Set the block in the afternoon, while you are still the version of yourself who wants it set.

A browser extension that shuts certain sites between certain hours, a router on a timer, mobile data off after a set time. Pick one, set it once, and…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 34:11

Good help leaves you more able to do it yourself next time. If the whole thing only works while the other person is in the room, something has gone sideways.

There is a real difference between someone building your schedule for you and someone sitting beside you while you build it. The second is slower and…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 18:95

Some people genuinely do not feel time passing. There is now, and there is not now, and the hour in between goes missing. That is a difference in perception rather than a comment on how much someone cares.

Worth saying plainly in a family where lateness has turned into a moral argument. A person who is never on time may be honestly surprised each…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Planning does not really happen in your head. Until the week is written somewhere you actually look, you are guessing, however sincere your intentions are.

One calendar rather than four. Paper or phone matters far less than whether you will open it, so choose the one that appears in front of you without…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

Urgent means the clock is pushing. Important means it matters to the life you are trying to have. In the moment the two feel identical, and they are not.

Take your list and put one letter beside each thing. U if something real goes wrong today when it slips, I if it moves you towards something you care…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

The good place to be is where things matter but nothing is on fire yet. Booking the check-up, planning next term, getting the haircut before it becomes a situation.

None of it feels like an achievement, which is exactly why it gets no credit and keeps slipping. Try counting it as work: the dentist, the form, an…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:47

Instead of guessing what pulls you away, catch it happening. Keep a scrap of paper beside you for a week and note whatever took you off, at the moment it takes you off.

Two words is plenty: phone, hungry, that noise, the thought about Saturday. The writing itself breaks the drift, so some of the benefit arrives…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.