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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

Knowing your partner Five minutes Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 11 Five minutes 6 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 6 Me 6

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 5 On my own 1

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 99 Your nervous system 54 Getting assessed and diagnosed 43 Systems for daily life 36 Exercise, food and other supports 35 What anger actually is 35 Your sense of time 35 Get started 33 Food, caffeine and fuel 29 What ADHD actually is 28 Equanimity and perspective 27 The moment before you snap 26 Screens and attention 23 When everything feels flat 23 Choosing your response 23 Treatment and medication 22 Bringing the future closer 22 Practising under provocation 22 Touch and bodywork 22 What worry does 20 Grounding and settling 19 The fear underneath anger 17 Moving your body 17 Shame and stigma 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Being seen and judged 14 Structure and routine 13 Cool the body first 13 Remembering to do it 11 Growing empathy 10 Feeling from the inside 10 Feelings and focus 10 What you are actually defending 10 Breathing 10 The cost of avoiding 9 Righteous anger and perfectionism 9 Treatment and medication 9 Making it stick 9 Obsessions and compulsions 8 When you use something to cope 8 Breaking the worry loop 8 Emotions as signals 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 Knowing your partner 6 Self-compassion 4 Tolerate distress 4 Shared spiritual life 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 When you go numb 3 Shame 3 Rituals of connection 3 Question the thought 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Find meaning 2 Listening and understanding 2 Meaning after harm 2 Panic and the body 2 Act on your values 2 Use your strengths 2 Work with your brain 2 Your worth is not conditional 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Rest and pacing 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Get it out of your head 1 Face it gently 1 Staying regulated in conflict 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Affection and touch 1

Approach

Core 3 Gottman 2 Emotionally focused 1

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 2

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.