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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

342 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterAny ordinary day remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 166Your body 63Anger 43Worry and anxiety 27Low mood and hard feelings 21Your marriage 18After harm 2Grief and loss 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 446Five minutes 973Twenty minutes 342Longer 133
Who it is written for
A practitioner 313Me 281Someone I care about 221My husband or wife 34
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 225Struggling right now 63Getting ready for something 54
On your own, or with someone
On my own 201Involves someone else 82Both of us together 59
Theme
Systems for daily life 28Moving your body 21Medication and how it works 20Get started 16Screens and attention 12Reading, numbers and learning differences 12What ADHD actually is 12Your nervous system 11Treatment and medication 11Getting assessed and diagnosed 10Your sense of time 9Food, caffeine and fuel 8The cost of avoiding 8Feelings and focus 8Exercise, food and other supports 8What anger actually is 8Bringing the future closer 7Touch and bodywork 7Shared spiritual life 7Grounding and settling 6Breaking the worry loop 6Breathing 5Tolerate distress 5The moment before you snap 5The fear underneath anger 5When you use something to cope 5When everything feels flat 5Facing it a step at a time 4When anger turns to harm 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 4Shame and stigma 4Being seen and judged 3Emotions as signals 3Remembering to do it 3Use your strengths 3Structure and routine 3Growing empathy 3Practising under provocation 3Knowing your partner 3Rituals of connection 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Shame 2Repair after rupture 2Rebuilding trust 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2What worry does 2Making it stick 2Feeling from the inside 2Equanimity and perspective 2Cool the body first 2Choosing your response 2Anger, alcohol and the body 2Rest and pacing 1Answering bids 1What you are actually defending 1Care for yourself in loss 1Safety and grounding 1Treatment and medication 1Living with uncertainty 1Keep the bond 1Listen to the body 1Question the thought 1
Approach
ADHD skills 104Medical and treatment 76Core 44CBT 39Body based 32Gottman 13Mindfulness 11Emotionally focused 7Trauma informed 5DBT skills 5Narrative 2Parts work 2Grief 2
When · Any ordinary day
Any ordinary day 342Under stress 50In a change 27After a row 25Coming and going 16When apart 4Something good 2

A child struggling with attention, anxiety and daily reflux at once may be dealing with one problem wearing three coats. Undiagnosed coeliac disease and other food reactions can produce all of it, and the gut symptom is the clue worth following.

Symptoms that arrive together are worth asking about together. If reading, mood and stomach all went wrong over the same period, that pattern is…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 5:87

Emptying the feeling out at somebody does not shift it, and being told what to do instead skips over it. What changes things is feeling it with someone who stays.

You can tell the difference from the inside. Venting has a rehearsed quality, the same phrases coming round again with the heat kept up. Advice…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:83

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

You cannot taste food you are eating fast. Feeling works the same way, so slow the pace until there is something to actually notice.

In practice that means one sentence at a time, with a pause after it, and questions like what happened in you just then. Both of you will want to…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

You cannot decide to feel closer to people. You can decide to eat with them, walk with them, sit near them and say one true thing, and the closeness tends to follow.

The chemistry gets talked about a great deal and it is the least useful part. What you can act on is the diary: a standing meal with someone, a hand…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:21

Four ordinary things take the edge off a hot temper: being touched by someone you trust, eating with people, moving your body hard enough to breathe, and sitting still for a few minutes a day.

None of them are about anger directly, which is the point. Exercise lowers what you are already carrying before the argument starts. A shared meal…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 76:8

If eating together helps, it is the together that is helping. Being full is not a route to feeling close, and treating it as one goes wrong quickly for some people.

Sit down with somebody once a week and eat whatever you were going to eat anyway. That is the whole practice. If you notice yourself reaching for…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:14

Look back at a fight you went out of your way to have and pride is often what was driving. Being right and being respected feel like needs in the moment, and they cost far more than they return.

This changes what there is to work on. Breathing exercises will not touch a fight you are having in order to prove you are somebody. The question…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 28:88

The real skill is not spotting the hole in their reasoning. It is running the same test on the belief you hold most tightly.

Pick something you are sure of, something you would defend at a family dinner, and ask what it would look like if it were only mostly true. Where…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 53:39

A ladder worth climbing has six things: real steps, built with you rather than for you, in your own words, a first rung that is genuinely easy, your hand on the pace throughout, and practice often enough to add up.

Most ladders come apart for dull reasons. The bottom rung was somebody else's idea of easy. The wording came out of a manual. Nobody said you were…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 84:19

Years of avoiding people leave real gaps, not only fear. How to start small talk, how to join a group already talking, how to get out of a conversation. Those can be taught, and being taught them is not an insult.

Sending someone into a peer group without the ordinary moves risks a genuinely bad afternoon, which then teaches exactly the wrong lesson. Practise…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 20:28

Put a number on each step, nought to ten, and let it be your number. Two people facing the same school will not agree about which part is worst, and the ladder has to belong to the person climbing it.

One child dreads the bus and is fine once inside the building. Another would happily ride the bus all morning and cannot get through the front door.…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 23:62

Run it in your head first, then act it out with someone safe, then do it for real. It is a preseason, and nobody thinks the preseason is cheating.

Each round adds a little pressure while help is still to hand. Imagining it stirs the fear enough to show whether your plan holds up. Acting it out…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 92:7

If you are moving attention through the body, start at the feet and work up. Leave the throat, the chest and the face until last.

The far edges of the body carry less charge, so they are a gentle place to find your bearings. Include the back, which people tend to skip: attention…

Twenty minutesFeeling from the insideMindfulnessQur’an 40:19

There is a difference between watching your hand and being in your hand. See whether you can move from looking at a part of your body to living inside it.

Observing keeps a small distance, which is useful early on and can quietly become the whole practice. Inhabiting is the further step: filling the…

Twenty minutesFeeling from the insideMindfulnessQur’an 91:7

A reward that is far off has almost no weight in ADHD. Tying the task to something you actually care about gives you a reason that does not depend on the payoff arriving soon.

So instead of 'I should file these', try 'I want to be someone my family can rely on, and this is part of that'. The other half of this approach is…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 12:86

Time with people is not the nice extra you get to once the real work is done. Put it alongside sleep, medication and exercise rather than underneath them.

It helps to treat it like any other part of a plan, with something specific in the week rather than a general intention to be more social. One…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 2:45

Belonging to the group does nothing. Going does. Having a friend does nothing either, unless you see them.

So count the actual events. How many times this week did you sit with someone, not message them. A number you can check beats a resolution to be more…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 8:11

Fear tends to make its case as caution. Try not to let it quietly shrink what you are willing to attempt, because the shrinking rarely stops on its own.

If you have been criticised often enough, staying out of things stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like plain good sense. The way back is…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 3:139

When someone has gone flat, the question is not what they ought to be doing. It is what still has any life in it for them, however small or unimpressive, and then how to get more of that.

Activities handed out from the outside do not lift much. Someone who brightens talking about their car, or a cousin, or a game has just given you the…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 94:1

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.