Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

46 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Bringing the future closer
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64What anger actually is 58Your sense of time 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49What ADHD actually is 48Treatment and medication 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37When everything feels flat 34Grounding and settling 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32Reading, numbers and learning differences 31The fear underneath anger 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Cool the body first 25Shame and stigma 25Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24The cost of avoiding 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Shared spiritual life 16Facing it a step at a time 16Feeling from the inside 16Breaking the worry loop 16Fondness and admiration 14What you are actually defending 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 13Answering bids 12Tolerate distress 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7Question the thought 6When anger turns to harm 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Rebuilding trust 5Living with uncertainty 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Rest and pacing 3Repair after rupture 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Panic and the body 3Act on your values 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Keep the bond 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
When · Any ordinary day

Your ability to hold off a distraction is at its worst near the end of a work block, not at the start. Set the room up for the tired version of you, because that is the one who will be sitting in it.

In practice the hard removals happen in advance, while you still feel capable. Phone away before you begin, water and food already to hand, the next…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:197

The towel left on the floor is the model. Tomorrow it is cold and unpleasant to use, and that is the whole of it. Short wait, happens every time, nothing terrible.

When you are building a consequence yourself, aim for those qualities rather than for severity. Something that lands within a day or two. Something…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:41

Smoking sends its bill decades later. Homework skipped at fourteen lands at university applications. January's receipt matters in April of the following year. The few seconds of relief are always right here.

Lining these up next to each other makes something clear that willpower talk hides. You are not being asked to want the far thing slightly more. You…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

Bring the cost forward into today. No screen until the hour of work is done, rather than a poor grade three months from now.

Same idea for adults: you do not leave the desk until the hour is in, the film waits until the form is filed. It works because it stops asking you to…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

If the deadline is six weeks off and you can really only see three days ahead, do not try to grow the horizon. Move the deadline closer with a checkpoint.

A five minute catch-up with someone every couple of days does more than a beautifully drawn plan for the whole six weeks. In work with little…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

When you ask a manager for regular check-ins, ask for them as a way of staying pointed in the right direction. That is a different conversation from asking to be watched.

Something like: could we take five minutes twice a week, so I can be sure I am working on what matters most to you. You are the one proposing it, so…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

'It's bad for your health' and 'grades matter later' move nobody, least of all someone who has never seen what either one looks like.

If you want a future to carry any weight, it has to be pictured rather than stated. What does the day look like. Who is in the room. What is…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 87:17

A consequence has to cost the person whose behaviour it is, in something they actually care about. If missing the bus mildly annoys your teenager and wrecks your morning, the cost is landing on the wrong person.

So move it. A few pounds for the lift, or the phone for the day. Say it plainly beforehand, then do it without the lecture attached. What counts as…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

You get three goes at thinking about something: before it starts, somewhere in the middle, and once it is over. Most of us only ever use the last one, which is the least useful of them.

Before is a pause to look at the options. In the middle is a quick check on how it is actually going and whether anything needs changing. Afterwards…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

The first version of the list will be alright. It becomes good over a couple of years, one forgotten item at a time.

So when you arrive somewhere without the thing you needed, add a line rather than carrying the annoyance around with you. That turns a bad morning…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

A long project gives you no feedback until it is too late to use any. Put checkpoints in yourself: with the people involved, or just with you and a Monday morning.

Pick the dates while you are writing the plan, not later when you happen to remember. Each one turns a single verdict at the end into several small…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

At a check-in, only look. Where am I, what has slipped, what have I still not heard back on. Skim the inbox without opening anything.

The moment you answer one message the review is over, and you will not notice it ending. Keep a sheet beside you and write down what you spot instead…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:40

Once a day, look at the whole day before it starts eating you. What is on, what is urgent, what is this day actually best used for. Morning or evening, whichever you will really do.

It takes about five minutes and it is the difference between a day you chose and a day chosen for you by whoever emailed first. Some people prefer…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Ask people how it went. How was that meeting, how am I doing, what did you make of it. Nobody enjoys asking, and the information is not available any other way.

Ask one specific person about one specific thing rather than the room in general. If your read on yourself has been bent out of shape by years of…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Someone who will tell you the part that was not good is someone whose 'that was fine' you can believe. That is what settles the doubt, not reassurance.

Blanket praise carries no information, so it slides off and the doubt is back within the hour. If you tend to worry about how you came across, ask…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 99:8

One way to hold the whole thing: you feel now at full volume and later almost not at all. Putting things off, saying yes too often, spending, jumping in. One pattern rather than four separate faults.

It changes what you go looking for. Not more discipline in each area separately, but ways of making later louder across all of them. A deadline you…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:20

A report due Friday puts a little pressure on somebody else's Monday. For you Monday feels like nothing at all, and then Thursday evening arrives carrying the whole of it.

It is worth drawing out honestly. One line sloping gently upwards all week, another staying flat and then going vertical. Once the shape is visible…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 87:17

If the only real deadline is the fortnightly meeting, invent some smaller ones. A couple of short catch-ups a week will do more for the work than the formal review ever does.

Ask for them as something that helps you, because it is true and it also lands better: five minutes on Tuesday and Thursday keeps me pointed at the…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

No single strategy fits every situation. When something that worked last year does nothing now, the fault is usually in the match rather than in you.

For anyone helping, this matters even more. When a sensible technique fails, the first question is which part of this person's week it did not fit,…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

There are two ways to make something get noticed: make it louder, or quieten everything around it. The second is usually the one nobody has tried.

It applies to a desk and to a phone screen alike. Adding one more reminder into a busy field mostly adds to the field. Taking six things off the desk…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 20:131

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.