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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

29 practices
Growing empathy remove filterAny ordinary day remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 13Five minutes 10Twenty minutes 3Longer 3
Who it is written for
Me 28A practitioner 28Someone I care about 12My husband or wife 3
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 25Struggling right now 3Getting ready for something 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 17Both of us together 7Involves someone else 5
Theme · Growing empathy
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64What anger actually is 58Your sense of time 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49Treatment and medication 48What ADHD actually is 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37Grounding and settling 34When everything feels flat 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32The fear underneath anger 31Reading, numbers and learning differences 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Shame and stigma 25Cool the body first 25The cost of avoiding 24Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Facing it a step at a time 16Breaking the worry loop 16Feeling from the inside 16Shared spiritual life 16What you are actually defending 14Fondness and admiration 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 13Tolerate distress 12Answering bids 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7When anger turns to harm 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 6Rebuilding trust 5Living with uncertainty 3Your worth is not conditional 3Panic and the body 3When you go numb 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Repair after rupture 3Rest and pacing 3Act on your values 2Meaning after harm 2Face it gently 2Get it out of your head 2Keep the bond 2Work with your brain 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1
Approach
Body based 16Medical and treatment 11CBT 2
When · Any ordinary day
Any ordinary day 29Under stress 4After a row 2When apart 1

Telling somebody one thing you are quietly embarrassed about will bring you closer than a month of pleasant conversation.

It does not have to be dramatic. The worry you have never said out loud, the mistake you still think about at night, the thing you are no good at.…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:23

If you keep saying yes and then feeling furious about it, the problem may not be that you care too much. Often it is that you cannot bear anyone being displeased with you.

The two look identical from outside and they need completely different answers. Genuine feeling for someone is warm and tiring. Fear of disapproval…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 76:9

If it really is that you feel too much for people, the useful move is not more feeling. It is learning to say no while still meaning them well.

Naming your softness as something that gets used is what makes a limit bearable to set. You are not becoming colder. You are stopping the slow build…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 16:90

You cannot decide to feel closer to people. You can decide to eat with them, walk with them, sit near them and say one true thing, and the closeness tends to follow.

The chemistry gets talked about a great deal and it is the least useful part. What you can act on is the diary: a standing meal with someone, a hand…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:21

Four ordinary things take the edge off a hot temper: being touched by someone you trust, eating with people, moving your body hard enough to breathe, and sitting still for a few minutes a day.

None of them are about anger directly, which is the point. Exercise lowers what you are already carrying before the argument starts. A shared meal…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 76:8

If eating together helps, it is the together that is helping. Being full is not a route to feeling close, and treating it as one goes wrong quickly for some people.

Sit down with somebody once a week and eat whatever you were going to eat anyway. That is the whole practice. If you notice yourself reaching for…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:14

Two people who spend time in step really do become more attuned. Nothing passes between your brains while it happens, though, so put the hours in rather than waiting for the wiring.

The phrase about brains wiring together is a picture, and a lovely one. What is actually available to you is ordinary: the same room, the same walk…

LongerGrowing empathyBody basedQur’an 7:156

Closeness arrives much faster in a small group that keeps meeting than in a wide circle you see now and then. If you want to feel less alone, pick the small thing that repeats.

Six people who show up every Tuesday and say something real will know each other within a couple of months. Sixty acquaintances will not. It does not…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:17

There is a particular relief in hearing a room of strangers admit the same frightened thing you have never said aloud. It is why groups reach people that advice does not.

You go in expecting contempt. What comes back is usually recognition, along with a few nods from people who have been ruder to their families than…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 49:13

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.