Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices

Staying regulated in conflict Coping, mostly Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 10 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 11 Me 11

On your own, or with someone

On my own 9 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Staying regulated in conflict

Medication and how it works 97 Systems for daily life 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 54 Get started 47 Your nervous system 47 Moving your body 43 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Treatment and medication 39 What anger actually is 37 Your sense of time 37 Bringing the future closer 36 Touch and bodywork 30 What ADHD actually is 28 Screens and attention 26 Equanimity and perspective 26 Growing empathy 25 The moment before you snap 25 Structure and routine 25 When everything feels flat 25 Choosing your response 24 Feelings and focus 23 Food, caffeine and fuel 23 What worry does 22 Grounding and settling 21 Treatment and medication 20 The fear underneath anger 20 Knowing your partner 20 The cost of avoiding 19 Breathing 18 Being seen and judged 16 Shared spiritual life 16 Practising under provocation 15 Making it stick 15 Fondness and admiration 14 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Remembering to do it 13 What you are actually defending 13 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Emotions as signals 10 Listening and understanding 10 When you use something to cope 10 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Feeling from the inside 10 Gratitude 9 Affection and touch 7 Rituals of connection 7 Use your strengths 7 Self-compassion 6 When anger turns to harm 6 Cool the body first 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Obsessions and compulsions 5 Tolerate distress 5 Anger, alcohol and the body 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Question the thought 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Repair after rupture 3 Get it out of your head 2 Work with your brain 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Rest and pacing 2 Keep the bond 2 Meaning after harm 2 When you go numb 1 Shame 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Listen to the body 1 Safety and grounding 1 Living with uncertainty 1

Approach

Gottman 8 Emotionally focused 2 Core 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 28 Under stress 20 Any ordinary day 11 Coming and going 1

If you tend to go quiet, step back in today and say one honest sentence.

Silence protects you but starves them. One true line reopens the connection.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70

If you tend to press, soften your approach today: ask once, gently, then wait.

The push that seeks closeness often creates distance. Try a softer, slower reach.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 41:34

On one small slight today, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt out loud in your mind.

The late reply, the short tone. Choose the reading that is not an attack. Usually it is truer.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Assume your spouse meant well today, even when it landed wrong, and respond to the intent.

Clumsy is not the same as unkind. Answer what they meant, not only how it came out.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Catch yourself keeping score today, and set the ledger down.

I did this, so they owe that. Love kept as accounting slowly turns cold. Drop the tally.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 24:22

On the old recurring issue, raise it once this week more gently than you ever have.

Most problems between two people never fully resolve. The task is to soften how you carry them.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 41:34

Reframe one difference with your spouse as a dream to understand, not a flaw to fix.

Behind their stubborn stance is usually something they value. Ask what it protects.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:13

Lower your voice instead of matching theirs.

When the volume rises today, go the other way. Not silence, not martyrdom. Just quieter. It is one of the few moves that de-escalates without…

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictCoreQur’an 3:159

Yield to win: give ground in a disagreement the way you would for someone you love, not as a defeat.

Accepting influence from your partner is strength, not weakness. Generosity in giving in wins the relationship.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 2:237

Accept that some differences between you are enduring, not problems to be solved. Learn to live with them gently.

Most perpetual conflicts never fully resolve. The task is dialogue and acceptance, not a final verdict.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 11:118

For a compromise, name your one true core need, then be genuinely flexible on everything around it.

Separate the small inflexible core from the wide flexible area. Guard the core, give on the rest.

Five minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.