Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Rebuilding trust Coping, mostly Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

Me 5 My husband or wife 5

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 4 On my own 1

Theme · Rebuilding trust

Medication and how it works 97 Systems for daily life 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 54 Get started 47 Your nervous system 47 Moving your body 43 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Treatment and medication 39 What anger actually is 37 Your sense of time 37 Bringing the future closer 36 Touch and bodywork 30 What ADHD actually is 28 Screens and attention 26 Equanimity and perspective 26 The moment before you snap 25 Growing empathy 25 When everything feels flat 25 Structure and routine 25 Choosing your response 24 Food, caffeine and fuel 23 Feelings and focus 23 What worry does 22 Grounding and settling 21 Treatment and medication 20 The fear underneath anger 20 Knowing your partner 20 The cost of avoiding 19 Breathing 18 Being seen and judged 16 Shared spiritual life 16 Practising under provocation 15 Making it stick 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Fondness and admiration 14 What you are actually defending 13 Shame and stigma 13 Remembering to do it 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Feeling from the inside 10 When you use something to cope 10 Emotions as signals 10 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Listening and understanding 10 Gratitude 9 Use your strengths 7 Rituals of connection 7 Affection and touch 7 Self-compassion 6 When anger turns to harm 6 Cool the body first 6 Facing it a step at a time 5 Anger, alcohol and the body 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Obsessions and compulsions 5 Tolerate distress 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Repair after rupture 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Question the thought 3 Find meaning 2 Meaning after harm 2 Rest and pacing 2 Keep the bond 2 Face it gently 2 Work with your brain 2 Act on your values 2 Get it out of your head 2 When you go numb 1 Safety and grounding 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Shame 1 Listen to the body 1 Care for yourself in loss 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 9 Any ordinary day 5 Under stress 2 Coming and going 1

Deliberately hold your partner's good qualities in mind, and let cherishing crowd out resentful thoughts.

After trust is rebuilding, nurture cherishing: recall and dwell on what you value in them, on purpose.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:74

Rebuild the small rituals of connection that eroded: predictable, reliable moments you can both count on.

Betrayal usually follows the quiet loss of daily connection. Restore steady rituals you can rely on to reconnect.

A minuteRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 70:23

Do not try to restore the old marriage. Build a new one, on honesty, transparency, and witnessing each other's truths.

The relationship before cannot be recovered as it was. Aim instead for a second marriage, to the same person, on firmer ground.

Five minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 30:21

Atonement is not only apology; it is changed behavior over time. Let your actions become the apology.

Words open the door; sustained new behavior walks through it. Trust returns through consistency, not speeches.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:70

Let the hurt partner set the pace of healing. It takes as long as it takes; there is no rushing trust back.

You cannot demand that trust return on a schedule. Honor the injured partner's timeline without pressure.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:286

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.