Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices

Staying regulated in conflict Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 10 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for

Me 11 My husband or wife 11

On your own, or with someone

On my own 9 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Staying regulated in conflict

Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90 Your nervous system 87 Get started 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 64 What anger actually is 58 Your sense of time 58 Moving your body 56 Exercise, food and other supports 55 Food, caffeine and fuel 53 The moment before you snap 49 Treatment and medication 48 What ADHD actually is 48 Bringing the future closer 46 Choosing your response 45 Screens and attention 44 Touch and bodywork 38 Equanimity and perspective 37 Grounding and settling 34 When everything feels flat 34 Structure and routine 33 Feelings and focus 32 Reading, numbers and learning differences 31 The fear underneath anger 31 Practising under provocation 30 Growing empathy 29 What worry does 26 Cool the body first 25 Shame and stigma 25 Being seen and judged 24 The cost of avoiding 24 Making it stick 24 Breathing 24 Treatment and medication 23 Knowing your partner 20 Remembering to do it 20 When you use something to cope 19 Breaking the worry loop 16 Feeling from the inside 16 Facing it a step at a time 16 Shared spiritual life 16 What you are actually defending 14 Fondness and admiration 14 Emotions as signals 13 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Tolerate distress 12 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Listening and understanding 10 Posture and how you carry yourself 9 Gratitude 9 Use your strengths 8 Self-compassion 8 Rituals of connection 7 Shame 7 Affection and touch 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 When anger turns to harm 6 Question the thought 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Rest and pacing 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Repair after rupture 3 Living with uncertainty 3 When you go numb 3 Work with your brain 2 Get it out of your head 2 Keep the bond 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Find meaning 2 Meaning after harm 2 Safety and grounding 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Listen to the body 1

Approach

Gottman 8 Emotionally focused 2 Core 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 28 Under stress 20 Any ordinary day 11 Coming and going 1

If you tend to go quiet, step back in today and say one honest sentence.

Silence protects you but starves them. One true line reopens the connection.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70

If you tend to press, soften your approach today: ask once, gently, then wait.

The push that seeks closeness often creates distance. Try a softer, slower reach.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 41:34

On one small slight today, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt out loud in your mind.

The late reply, the short tone. Choose the reading that is not an attack. Usually it is truer.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Assume your spouse meant well today, even when it landed wrong, and respond to the intent.

Clumsy is not the same as unkind. Answer what they meant, not only how it came out.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Catch yourself keeping score today, and set the ledger down.

I did this, so they owe that. Love kept as accounting slowly turns cold. Drop the tally.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 24:22

On the old recurring issue, raise it once this week more gently than you ever have.

Most problems between two people never fully resolve. The task is to soften how you carry them.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 41:34

Reframe one difference with your spouse as a dream to understand, not a flaw to fix.

Behind their stubborn stance is usually something they value. Ask what it protects.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:13

Lower your voice instead of matching theirs.

When the volume rises today, go the other way. Not silence, not martyrdom. Just quieter. It is one of the few moves that de-escalates without…

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictCoreQur’an 3:159

Yield to win: give ground in a disagreement the way you would for someone you love, not as a defeat.

Accepting influence from your partner is strength, not weakness. Generosity in giving in wins the relationship.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 2:237

Accept that some differences between you are enduring, not problems to be solved. Learn to live with them gently.

Most perpetual conflicts never fully resolve. The task is dialogue and acceptance, not a final verdict.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 11:118

For a compromise, name your one true core need, then be genuinely flexible on everything around it.

Separate the small inflexible core from the wide flexible area. Guard the core, give on the rest.

Five minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.