Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Knowing your partner Five minutes Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 14 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for

Me 8 My husband or wife 8

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 7 On my own 1

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 63 Getting assessed and diagnosed 41 Your nervous system 37 What anger actually is 36 Systems for daily life 31 Equanimity and perspective 29 Exercise, food and other supports 27 Your sense of time 25 Get started 23 Touch and bodywork 23 What ADHD actually is 22 Bringing the future closer 21 Treatment and medication 20 When everything feels flat 19 The moment before you snap 19 The fear underneath anger 18 Feelings and focus 17 Choosing your response 17 What worry does 17 Moving your body 17 Practising under provocation 17 Screens and attention 16 Grounding and settling 14 What you are actually defending 14 Food, caffeine and fuel 13 Emotions as signals 12 Structure and routine 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 11 Breathing 10 Feeling from the inside 9 The cost of avoiding 9 Being seen and judged 9 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Growing empathy 9 Rebuilding trust 9 Knowing your partner 8 Treatment and medication 8 Making it stick 7 Breaking the worry loop 7 Remembering to do it 6 Cool the body first 6 Shame and stigma 6 Listening and understanding 5 Self-compassion 5 When you use something to cope 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Tolerate distress 5 Reading, numbers and learning differences 4 Facing it a step at a time 4 Shared spiritual life 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Rituals of connection 3 Use your strengths 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Panic and the body 2 Repair after rupture 2 Meaning after harm 2 Work with your brain 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Your worth is not conditional 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Affection and touch 1 Rest and pacing 1 When you go numb 1 Face it gently 1 Shame 1 Question the thought 1 Calm the body 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Working with anger 1 Ask and say no well 1 Let the wave come 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 3 Core 3 Gottman 2

When

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 2

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.