Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Knowing your partner Five minutes Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 14 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 8 Me 8

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 7 On my own 1

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 111Your nervous system 73 What anger actually is 60 Getting assessed and diagnosed 59 Equanimity and perspective 44 Touch and bodywork 43 Systems for daily life 40 The moment before you snap 39 Exercise, food and other supports 39 Your sense of time 38 What ADHD actually is 37 Choosing your response 35 When everything feels flat 35 Get started 35 Grounding and settling 35 Treatment and medication 31 Screens and attention 31 Food, caffeine and fuel 30 The fear underneath anger 29 Feelings and focus 29 Practising under provocation 28 Bringing the future closer 27 Moving your body 24 What worry does 23 Cool the body first 23 Shame and stigma 20 Emotions as signals 19 Breathing 19 Feeling from the inside 17 What you are actually defending 16 The cost of avoiding 16 Structure and routine 16 Breaking the worry loop 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 15 Remembering to do it 15 Being seen and judged 14 Growing empathy 14 Facing it a step at a time 13 Treatment and medication 12 When you use something to cope 12 Making it stick 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 11 Obsessions and compulsions 11 Tolerate distress 11 Staying regulated in conflict 9 When anger turns to harm 9 Rebuilding trust 9 Knowing your partner 8 Self-compassion 7 Shame 7 When you go numb 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 6 Question the thought 5 Listening and understanding 5 Shared spiritual life 4 Living with uncertainty 3 Use your strengths 3 Rituals of connection 3 Work with your brain 2 Repair after rupture 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Panic and the body 2 Act on your values 2 Find meaning 2 Meaning after harm 2 Rest and pacing 2 Affection and touch 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Working with anger 1 Let the wave come 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Calm the body 1 Ask and say no well 1

Approach

Core 3 Emotionally focused 3 Gottman 2

When

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 2

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.