Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · When everything feels flat
Staying regulated in conflict 46Choosing your response 25Answering bids 22Medication and how it works 18The fear underneath anger 18Bringing the future closer 17The moment before you snap 17Your nervous system 15Fondness and admiration 15Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Equanimity and perspective 14Systems for daily life 13Repair after rupture 13Get started 13What anger actually is 13Growing empathy 12Cool the body first 12Your sense of time 12Treatment and medication 11Structure and routine 10Grounding and settling 9Gratitude 9When everything feels flat 8Listening and understanding 8Feelings and focus 8Moving your body 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Making it stick 6Exercise, food and other supports 6Remembering to do it 6Rituals of connection 6Shared spiritual life 6Touch and bodywork 6Screens and attention 5What you are actually defending 5Rebuilding trust 5Being seen and judged 5Emotions as signals 5Breathing 4Food, caffeine and fuel 4Treatment and medication 4Shame and stigma 4Tolerate distress 4Practising under provocation 4What worry does 3What ADHD actually is 3Question the thought 3The cost of avoiding 3Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3When you use something to cope 3Self-compassion 3Reading, numbers and learning differences 2When anger turns to harm 2Calm the body 2Facing it a step at a time 2Hold a boundary 2Let the wave come 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Shame 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Your worth is not conditional 2Breaking the worry loop 1Your window of tolerance 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Panic and the body 1Listen to the body 1Act on your values 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Feeling from the inside 1Face it gently 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
Approach
When

You can say what an SSRI does in one sentence. It blocks the doorway that carries serotonin back out of the gap between two nerve cells, so more of it stays there for longer and is likelier to be picked up.

Worth being able to say plainly, because most people are carrying something vaguer and more frightening than that. It also sets a fair expectation.…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 8:24

The blockade is partial. Serotonin is not trapped in there forever: enzymes still break it down and the transporters that are not blocked carry on working.

That matters for accuracy and it matters for reassurance, because people do picture something flooding and stuck. It also explains why serotonin…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 94:1

Serotonin syndrome comes from stacking, and the second agent is usually something nobody thought to mention: a migraine tablet, a cough medicine, a herbal remedy for low mood.

Triptans, tramadol, dextromethorphan, linezolid and St John's wort all count, as do other antidepressants. Someone who mentions in passing that they…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 12:87

When someone says they react badly to normal doses of almost everything, take it as information about their body rather than as a personality trait.

Bodies differ in how fast they break a medicine down. Give two people the same dose and one of them may be holding far more of it for far longer,…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:7

Whether a medicine works can turn on something as ordinary as taking it with food or moving it to bedtime.

Vilazodone is the clear case. On an empty stomach a good deal less of it is absorbed, and the nausea it can cause is easier to sit with overnight…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:69

If a medicine leaves you wired, restless or with a pulse that will not settle, report it rather than tolerating it quietly.

The antidepressants that act on noradrenaline as well as serotonin can raise blood pressure and put nerves on edge, and with some of them that grows…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 13:28

The same medicine can be dangerous given one way and safe given another. Slow release is not a marketing word.

Bupropion was pulled from the market over seizures and came back once a slow release form existed, because what drove the risk was the sharp peak…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 12:110

When someone tells you they have been hurting themselves, keep your face steady and stay curious. Alarm closes the conversation, and you need it open.

A visible flinch teaches the person that this is not something you can hear, and the next disclosure goes elsewhere or nowhere. It can also make the…

A minuteWhen everything feels flatParts workQur’an 16:127

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.