Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

Emotions as signals Twenty minutes Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 5 Five minutes 19 Twenty minutes 6

Who it is written for

A practitioner 6 My husband or wife 6 Me 5

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 3 Struggling right now 3

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 3 On my own 3

Theme · Emotions as signals

Systems for daily life 38 Medication and how it works 30 Moving your body 26 Treatment and medication 19 Screens and attention 18 Get started 17 Getting assessed and diagnosed 17 What ADHD actually is 17 Feelings and focus 16 The cost of avoiding 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Your nervous system 14 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 What anger actually is 10 Exercise, food and other supports 10 Your sense of time 10 Bringing the future closer 9 Touch and bodywork 8 The moment before you snap 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Emotions as signals 6 The fear underneath anger 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 Cool the body first 6 Tolerate distress 6 Grounding and settling 6 Shame 6 Shame and stigma 5 Breathing 5 Staying regulated in conflict 5 When you use something to cope 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 When everything feels flat 5 Remembering to do it 5 When anger turns to harm 4 Repair after rupture 4 Rituals of connection 4 What worry does 4 Righteous anger and perfectionism 4 Being seen and judged 4 Choosing your response 4 Growing empathy 4 Anger, alcohol and the body 3 Structure and routine 3 Use your strengths 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Practising under provocation 3 Knowing your partner 3 Making it stick 3 Equanimity and perspective 3 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Answering bids 2 Feeling from the inside 2 Letting it out safely 2 Posture and how you carry yourself 2 Question the thought 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Safety and grounding 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Rest and pacing 1 Listen to the body 1 Treatment and medication 1 What you are actually defending 1 Keep the bond 1

When

Any ordinary day 3 Under stress 2 After a row 1

When all you can say is that something happened and you went off, take it apart in five pieces: what set it off, how you read it, what your body did, what you made it mean, and what you wanted to do next.

Written out on paper it usually stops being a blur. You often find the trigger was small and the meaning was enormous, or that your body was already…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:7

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

Emptying the feeling out at somebody does not shift it, and being told what to do instead skips over it. What changes things is feeling it with someone who stays.

You can tell the difference from the inside. Venting has a rehearsed quality, the same phrases coming round again with the heat kept up. Advice…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:83

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

You cannot taste food you are eating fast. Feeling works the same way, so slow the pace until there is something to actually notice.

In practice that means one sentence at a time, with a pause after it, and questions like what happened in you just then. Both of you will want to…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.