Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

24 practices

Answering bids Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have

A minute 22 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

Me 24 My husband or wife 24

On your own, or with someone

On my own 13 Involves someone else 11

Theme · Answering bids

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Moving your body 48 Get started 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 Bringing the future closer 43 The moment before you snap 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Feelings and focus 38 Touch and bodywork 38 When everything feels flat 32 Screens and attention 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 26 Structure and routine 26 Knowing your partner 25 Answering bids 24 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Emotions as signals 20 Treatment and medication 20 Cool the body first 20 What you are actually defending 20 Breathing 19 Making it stick 19 Repair after rupture 19 Being seen and judged 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 14 Remembering to do it 13 Rituals of connection 13 Listening and understanding 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When anger turns to harm 11 When you use something to cope 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Tolerate distress 10 Gratitude 9 Facing it a step at a time 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 5 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Panic and the body 3 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 3 Shame 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Ride the urge 2 Rest and pacing 2 Patience and trust 2 Listen to the body 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Living with uncertainty 1 When you go numb 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Core 7 Gottman 7

When

Any ordinary day 12 Under stress 9 Something good 3

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Once today, ask about a stress from outside the two of you, then just listen. No fixing.

Twenty minutes on their side. Your only job is to understand and be on their team.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 30:21

Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.

Ten minutes each on stress from beyond the relationship. The listener gives empathy, not solutions.

Twenty minutesAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 5:2

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.