Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

48 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Get started
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61What anger actually is 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Get started 48Moving your body 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Bringing the future closer 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Touch and bodywork 38Feelings and focus 38When everything feels flat 32Screens and attention 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27The cost of avoiding 26Structure and routine 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Cool the body first 20Treatment and medication 20Emotions as signals 20What you are actually defending 20Breathing 19Repair after rupture 19Making it stick 19Being seen and judged 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Breaking the worry loop 14Shame and stigma 14Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Remembering to do it 13Feeling from the inside 12When you use something to cope 11When anger turns to harm 11Tolerate distress 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Gratitude 9Facing it a step at a time 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Obsessions and compulsions 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Act on your values 3Shame 3Panic and the body 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1
When

Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.

It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.

It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.

People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.

That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.

A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

If it has been on the list a year and nothing has moved, consider that you may have already decided. Saying so costs a good deal less than carrying it for another year.

Some items really are waiting for a better month. Others are quietly settled and only the guilt is still going round. You are allowed to say that the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 11:88

Decide now what you get if this is done by Friday, and what it costs you if it is not. Tell someone, so it is on the record.

The trouble with most jobs is that nothing happens either way, at least not for weeks. A deal made in advance puts a real consequence next to it: the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

An app can tell you what needs doing. It cannot make you want to do it. That gap is why the next one will disappoint you too.

Reminders, alarms and lists are genuinely good at the first job, so it is easy to assume a better one will finish the second. It will not, because…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Choosing the app, picking the colours, setting up the tags: that is the task avoiding you. It is interesting, it feels like preparation, and by bedtime nothing has been done.

New systems are enjoyable in a way the actual work never is, which is exactly why the evening goes that way. A useful test is whether anything on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

When something does not get written down, go back to that exact moment with curiosity rather than a telling off. What was in your hands, where were you, what did you tell yourself?

The useful information is all in the specifics: the request came in the corridor, the phone was in your other hand, you were already late. That is a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:24

We all keep a few small stories that let us take the easier option in the moment. Not lies to other people, just the ones we tell ourselves and half believe.

They are not a sign of a bad character. Everybody has a set, and what you have been through shapes which ones you specialise in. The reason to know…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

You are allowed to decide not to write things down. What you cannot do is choose that and then be upset with yourself when you forget.

Straddling is the expensive bit: taking the easy option in the moment and the guilt afterwards. Pick one honestly. Either the note gets written, or…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

Put the thing you are avoiding early in the day. Anything you place late gets pushed out by whatever the day turns into.

Early has two advantages at once. It is less likely to be shunted, because the day has not yet piled up behind it, and if it does slip it only slips…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Email is the easiest place to hide. It answers back, it never runs out, and by five o'clock it feels like you worked.

What makes it such a good stand-in for real work is that the rewards come in small unpredictable bursts and almost none of it asks much of you. Your…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

Turn a vague plan into an if-then: when I sit down after lunch, I will open the one file.

Deciding in advance exactly when and where you will start removes the moment of friction where you usually stall.

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

Sorting a pile of receipts is not difficult. Sitting with how dull it is, that is the difficult part, and it helps to say so out loud.

Once you know boredom is the real demand, you stop trying to simplify a task that is already simple and start making the dullness bearable instead. A…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 39:10

Sometimes the last minute really does produce your best work. Often it produces your worst, and those nights are much easier to forget.

That is what keeps the belief alive: it pays out just often enough. Rather than arguing about it, count. Take the last ten things you left to the…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

If someone close to you has become the person who chases you, that arrangement is wearing you both down, even on the days it works. It is worth naming out loud and changing on purpose.

Once a partner or a manager supplies all the pressure, nothing inside you ever needs to. They end up tired and resentful, you end up handled like a…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Paint the room is not a task. Fill the holes, tape the edges, buy the rollers, do one wall. That is four tasks, and each one ends.

A big undivided job sits in the head as one enormous demand, which is why looking at it tires you before you have lifted anything. Write the steps in…

Twenty minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.