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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1725 practices
Coping, mostly remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 631Anger 377Your body 235Your marriage 224Worry and anxiety 120Low mood and hard feelings 96After harm 17Grief and loss 13Yourself and your limits 12
How long you have
A minute 553Five minutes 822Twenty minutes 265Longer 85
Who it is written for
Me 1457A practitioner 1384Someone I care about 874My husband or wife 312
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 1725Struggling right now 731Getting ready for something 391
On your own, or with someone
On my own 1158Involves someone else 413Both of us together 154
Theme
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61What anger actually is 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Moving your body 48Get started 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44Bringing the future closer 43The moment before you snap 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Feelings and focus 38Touch and bodywork 38Screens and attention 32When everything feels flat 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27The cost of avoiding 26Structure and routine 26Knowing your partner 25Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Cool the body first 20Emotions as signals 20Treatment and medication 20What you are actually defending 20Breathing 19Repair after rupture 19Making it stick 19Being seen and judged 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Breaking the worry loop 14Shame and stigma 14Remembering to do it 13Listening and understanding 13Rituals of connection 13Feeling from the inside 12When anger turns to harm 11When you use something to cope 11Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Tolerate distress 10Facing it a step at a time 9Gratitude 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Obsessions and compulsions 6Question the thought 5Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Act on your values 3Your worth is not conditional 3Panic and the body 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Working with anger 3Shame 3Calm the body 3Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Validate yourself and others 2Help someone grieving 2Patience and trust 2Hold a boundary 2Keep the bond 2Care for yourself in loss 2Rest and pacing 2Your window of tolerance 2Listen to the body 2Work with your brain 2Ask and say no well 2Ride the urge 2Get it out of your head 2Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1
Approach
ADHD skills 404Medical and treatment 321Core 314Body based 172CBT 146Gottman 108Mindfulness 102Emotionally focused 86DBT skills 28Trauma informed 21Grief 13Narrative 7Parts work 3
When
Any ordinary day 1296Under stress 223After a row 131In a change 37Coming and going 26When apart 6Something good 6

A cold shower hands you a clean, timed urge to work with. You plan a minute, and four seconds in every part of you wants out: notice it, breathe, let the wave pass, then notice it come back.

The useful discovery is not toughness. It is that urges arrive in waves rather than climbing forever, so waiting one out turns out to be a real…

Five minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 19:65

Meditation does more as upkeep than as a fire extinguisher. Doing it on the calm days is what lowers the level your threat system sits at.

If you only reach for it when you are already furious, it will seem useless and you will drop it, which is what usually happens. Practise it when…

Five minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 3:200

Notice how much of the tightness in you is the verdict you are passing. As the judging comes down, the body tends to come down with it.

This is something you can test rather than something to believe. Catch yourself narrating: he always does this, she has no respect, typical. Then…

Five minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 16:127

Knowing something calmly and feeling it are two separate achievements, and the second takes longer. If you can say the reasonable thing but it does not touch how you feel, you are partway, not failing.

The gap does not close by arguing with yourself harder. It closes by living it: doing the practice in real situations, in your body, while the…

Twenty minutesMaking it stickCoreQur’an 87:8

Pick the news channel you cannot stand and watch ten minutes of it on purpose. The only job is to notice what rises in you and let it go by.

Real provocation turns up when you are least ready for it. This gives you the feeling with nothing at stake: the indignation, the tightening, the…

Twenty minutesMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 41:35

When something is genuinely alive for the person in front of you, work with that. Whatever you had planned to cover keeps until a quieter week.

Teaching over the top of live feeling does not land, and it tells the other person that your agenda outranks their week. When there is heat, follow…

Twenty minutesMaking it stickCoreQur’an 18:23

It does get better, but not by waiting for time to pass. The improvement comes from the walking, and the walking is small and unremarkable.

Every rep you did today changes almost nothing you can feel, which is the honest and irritating truth of it. Progress here shows up over months and…

LongerMaking it stickMindfulnessQur’an 92:7

Skills bring the flare ups down in number and in heat. What they leave standing is the layer underneath: what you believe you are owed, and how you think people ought to behave.

That layer is slower work, closer to rebuilding a view of life than to learning a technique. What counts as fair, what can reasonably be expected of…

LongerMaking it stickCoreQur’an 13:11

The work you are doing on anger does not stay in the anger box. Learning to hold an unanswered question, or to sit with what you cannot change, turns up in worry and in low patches too.

That is quietly encouraging on the days the anger part feels slow. It also means being careful about crediting every improvement to the anger work,…

LongerMaking it stickCoreQur’an 92:7

Tune to what your spouse is feeling under their words today, and name it gently.

It sounds like that scared you. Responsiveness is meeting the feeling, not just the fact.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:186

Be the first to lower your guard today, even a little, and say something true and soft.

Someone has to move first. Let it be you, with one honest, undefended sentence.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 20:44

Find the longing under your complaint, and voice the longing instead.

Under you are never home is I miss you, I want more of you. Say the wish, not the jab.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5

Ask your spouse what is weighing on them this week, and remember the answer.

Not how was your day. What is heavy right now. Then carry a corner of it in your mind.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Notice one way your spouse has changed lately, and let your picture of them catch up.

People keep becoming someone new. Ask about the new thing rather than assuming the old.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 13:28

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:152

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.