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Your marriage
What keeps a marriage well is not the big gestures. It is knowing each other, turning towards each other in ordinary moments, staying regulated when it gets hot, and repairing quickly when it goes wrong. Most of the practices here take under five minutes.
Narrowed down
6 practicesTheme · Rituals of connection
How long you have
Approach · Gottman
Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.
Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.
When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.
Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.
Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.
A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.
Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.
The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.
Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.
The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.
Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.
A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.