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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

12 practices
Knowing your partner remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterAny ordinary day remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 5Twenty minutes 3
Who it is written for
Me 12My husband or wife 12
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Involves someone else 12On my own 8
Theme · Knowing your partner
Medication and how it works 53Systems for daily life 26The cost of avoiding 20Moving your body 17Exercise, food and other supports 13Knowing your partner 12Screens and attention 12Food, caffeine and fuel 10What ADHD actually is 10Shared spiritual life 9Breaking the worry loop 9Listening and understanding 9Your sense of time 8Bringing the future closer 8Treatment and medication 8Feelings and focus 8Structure and routine 8Rituals of connection 7What worry does 7Facing it a step at a time 7The moment before you snap 7Breathing 7Affection and touch 6Cool the body first 6Get started 6Getting assessed and diagnosed 5Growing empathy 5Reading, numbers and learning differences 5Your nervous system 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Touch and bodywork 4Treatment and medication 4When you use something to cope 4Rebuilding trust 4What anger actually is 4When everything feels flat 4Equanimity and perspective 4Being seen and judged 3Shame and stigma 3Remembering to do it 3Making it stick 3Choosing your response 3Answering bids 2Tolerate distress 2Panic and the body 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Grounding and settling 2Gratitude 2Fondness and admiration 2Emotions as signals 2Staying regulated in conflict 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Rest and pacing 1Feeling from the inside 1Repair after rupture 1Shame 1
Approach
Gottman 5Core 4Emotionally focused 3
When · Any ordinary day
Any ordinary day 12Under stress 3

Tune to what your spouse is feeling under their words today, and name it gently.

It sounds like that scared you. Responsiveness is meeting the feeling, not just the fact.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:159

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Do not win in a way that crushes your partner's dream. Aim for a marriage where you support each other's dreams.

Being right is worthless if it flattens the person you love. Look for how both dreams can be honored.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:187

See your bond as a safe haven and a secure base, not just romance. Your partner is meant to be the person you run to and the place you launch from.

In the science of love, a partner is an attachment figure: a safe harbour in distress and a secure base you venture out from. Treating the…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.

When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 17:24

Ask one open question about their inner world tonight, and just listen to the whole answer.

What are you hoping for lately, what are you dreading. Questions with no single answer.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 30:21

Ask your spouse about a moment from their childhood that shaped them, and listen closely.

What comfort felt like then, what they longed for. It still lives in how they love now.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 17:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.