Practices

Ask plainly: name the facts, say how you feel, say what you want, in a few clear sentences.

Drop the hinting. State the situation, your feeling, and the request. Clear is kind.

Find one adult in the building the child already trusts, and have them meet the child at the entrance. The doorway is the hardest minute of the day.

The job is small and specific: be there at the door, walk with them to their locker, get them started, be findable later on. It turns the worst…

If telling your doctor or midwife what you are using feels impossible, you can ask someone you already trust to pass it on for you, with your permission and in your words.

People often stay quiet with the very clinician who could help, because saying it out loud feels heavier than the problem does. Handing the message…

Let the person facing it choose the first step, and let them choose an easy one. A rung somebody picked gets climbed. A rung assigned to them gets argued about.

Ask which one they would be willing to have a go at this week, not which one they ought to be able to manage. The answer usually sits somewhere in…

No step happens without the person agreeing to it. Not ordered, not dragged, not talked round in a bright voice. Agreement is a condition of the thing working, not a courtesy.

Coerced exposure teaches two lessons at once: that the situation is dangerous, and that you are not safe with the people who arranged it. After that…

Start with a couple of minutes of movement before any of the difficult talking. Not a warm up for its own sake: a body that has moved is easier to think in.

Two or three minutes is enough. Roll the shoulders, round and lengthen the spine, turn gently side to side. It also says something without anyone…

With someone grieving, offer your presence more than your words. Sit with them; let silence be enough.

You do not need the right thing to say. Being there, quietly and again and again, is the help.

Match the tablet to the person rather than to the diagnosis. For someone flattened and slowed who has said clearly that they will not accept sexual side effects, paroxetine is close to the worst choice available.

It is the most sedating in the class, the least activating, and carries a high risk of exactly the effect they ruled out, with weight gain and the…

If you are the therapist, hand the prescriber the profile and leave them the pick. What you hold that they do not is what this person is like across a week, and what they will absolutely not tolerate.

So write those two things down and send them: the presentation, in plain description rather than jargon, and the non-negotiables. Not a drug name.…

If a treatment reliably produces strange sensations, describe them beforehand. Expected strangeness is far easier to sit through than strangeness that arrives unannounced.

With esketamine, feeling oddly detached from your body or the room is the drug doing what it does, not a sign of harm, and it usually clears within a…

Rules about ADHD and military service move with recruiting needs. Send a family to a recruiter for the current position rather than answering from memory.

Every version has been seen: medication allowed, medication stopped before basic training, the diagnosis treated as disqualifying, the diagnosis…

Before you decide a club is out of reach, ask. Some let children earn the uniform through the levels, and plenty have quiet arrangements for families who need them.

Cost keeps more children out of these things than lack of interest does. A single phone call is worth making, and the answer is often better than the…

Let one trustworthy person in slowly. Trust is rebuilt in small, safe steps, not all at once.

You do not owe everyone access, and you do not have to stay walled off forever. One safe person, by degrees.

Ask everybody, at the start, what they use and how it goes for them there. Not only the ones who arrive with an obvious phone problem.

Two questions do most of the work: which platforms are you on, and what is it like for you on them. Asked early, without any warning tone, it makes…

Decide at the start what you are actually aiming at. Eight difficulties down to six, then to four, then perhaps to two. Never zero, because zero was never on offer.

Everybody has some of these traits, and ADHD is largely inherited, so a life with none of it was never a realistic target for anyone. Naming a number…

Everything has side effects, including doing nothing. The only real question is whether what you gain outweighs what it costs you.

The conversation about medication often gets set up as a risky drug against a safe natural alternative, and that is not the choice anyone is actually…

Treatment is not only about school reports. Lower rates of accidental injury and of other serious harms are reasons in their own right, even for a child whose marks are perfectly fine.

This is the answer to the question about the bright child who is coping academically and whose impulsivity worries you in traffic, on a bike, or…

A child at the nursery door who charms you, then rages, then crumples is running through the whole repertoire in ninety seconds. Nothing has gone wrong yet.

The sequence is ordinary: try connection first, then protest, then collapse when neither works. What decides how the morning lands is what happens…