Practices

Saying that something does not work leaves a parent holding the same worry that sent them looking in the first place. Say what the time and money would buy instead, and put exercise at the top of the list.

The energy behind an unevidenced treatment is usually love with nowhere to go, and if it is not given somewhere to go it moves on to the next…

Ask which direction a person's sensory difficulty runs before offering anything. Someone who is under responsive needs more input and someone who is over responsive needs less, and the wrong one makes the day harder.

The under responsive child is the one climbing, chewing, pressing into things, hunting for sensation in order to feel settled. The over responsive…

Ask what someone takes that is not food, rather than asking what medications they are on. People do not file their supplements under drugs, so the usual question comes back empty.

There is a case worth carrying around for this. A liver transplant patient kept rejecting the organ, and it turned out he was quietly taking…

More clinicians now raise supplements themselves, and more of them will suggest something like omegas. The shift matters less for what gets recommended and more for what it does to disclosure.

People hide what they expect to be laughed at. Someone braced for an eye roll simply does not mention the four bottles in the kitchen cupboard, and…

Sensory integration training is popular and it does not help ADHD. Whatever value it has elsewhere, the capacity it works on is not the one that is impaired here.

What is impaired in ADHD is holding back a response and steering your own behaviour over time. Sensory modulation is a different thing altogether.…

A child can learn a self control routine beautifully in the therapy room and not use it once all week at school. Knowing the steps and performing them under pressure are two different skills.

This is why supports that sit in the moment tend to beat supports that sit in the mind. A prompt at the point of need, a changed seat, a rule the…

A weighted vest seems to do its work in roughly the first quarter of an hour. Twenty minutes did not beat fifteen, so longer is not more help.

Use it as a tool for a moment rather than a garment for the day: on before the piece of work that needs the most sitting still, off once that is…

When a test trips a child on something it was never meant to measure, change how they answer rather than what is asked. A spelling test spoken aloud is still a spelling test.

One girl saw letters as solid three dimensional shapes that would not sit together on a page, so writing them was a perceptual problem rather than a…

Ask for photographs of every bottle rather than a list from memory, then pass that list to the prescriber. Recall is patchy about names and hopeless about doses.

Intake forms catch some of it and a photo of the shelf catches the rest, including the two things nobody mentions because they seem too minor to…

Food colouring is the one narrow exception in this area. Large studies suggest it may mildly wind up some very young children, so a trial removal in a preschooler is a reasonable thing to do.

Keep it in proportion though. This is a minor irritant in a subset of little children, nowhere near the sweeping dietary cause that was claimed…

The restrictive elimination diet has real methodological problems, and it is expensive and exhausting to run. If a family still wants to try it, they can, because unproven and dangerous are different words.

There is usually more to lose by forbidding it. A family who feels blocked either does it anyway without telling you or spends another year…

Benzodiazepines turn the volume down. They do not change the setting the volume keeps returning to, and it is worth saying that plainly before someone starts one.

They work by strengthening the braking system the brain already runs, which is why they act quickly and why they need that braking chemistry to be…

Within this class the choice is mostly about how long the drug lasts rather than how well it works. They all pull on the same receptor, so the real question is what pattern of cover the person in front of you needs.

A short-acting one taken as panic arrives gives sharp relief and teaches the person to keep it in a pocket. A longer-acting one gives smoother cover…

Play belongs here. Being a lion, a tree, a hissing snake, the way children do it with no embarrassment at all.

A lot of people meet trauma work as something solemn, and solemn is easy to sit through without ever softening. Silliness is harder to fake. If a…

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Offer genuine remorse, not a rushed sorry. Sincere turning back is where the return begins.

Remorse that is felt and shown, not performed to end the discomfort, is the seed of rebuilt trust.

Do not rush to analyze why it happened. That comes much later, and never as a way to shift blame.

Digging into causes too early invites excuses and self-blame. First transparency and remorse, then, in time, understanding.

Rebuild the small rituals of connection that eroded: predictable, reliable moments you can both count on.

Betrayal usually follows the quiet loss of daily connection. Restore steady rituals you can rely on to reconnect.

Name the specific moment your partner was not there when you needed them most, and how deeply it wounded you.

Some wounds are attachment injuries: a betrayal or abandonment at a crucial moment of need that redefines the relationship as unsafe. Healing begins…

If you caused the injury, acknowledge your partner's pain, own your part, and stay present with them; do not defend or flee.

The one who caused the wound helps most by receiving the pain, taking responsibility, and expressing genuine regret while staying emotionally…