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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

11 practices
Rituals of connection remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 3Twenty minutes 4
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 11Me 11
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Involves someone else 11On my own 2
Theme · Rituals of connection
Medication and how it works 34Systems for daily life 24Staying regulated in conflict 24The cost of avoiding 20Moving your body 16Knowing your partner 15Rebuilding trust 14Affection and touch 13Exercise, food and other supports 13Screens and attention 12Listening and understanding 12Repair after rupture 11Answering bids 11Rituals of connection 11Shared spiritual life 10Feelings and focus 8Bringing the future closer 8Your nervous system 8What anger actually is 8Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Treatment and medication 7What ADHD actually is 7Breaking the worry loop 7Structure and routine 7Your sense of time 7Growing empathy 6What worry does 6Equanimity and perspective 6Food, caffeine and fuel 5Emotions as signals 5Get started 5Grounding and settling 4When everything feels flat 4Treatment and medication 4When you use something to cope 4Breathing 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 3The moment before you snap 3Choosing your response 3Facing it a step at a time 3Fondness and admiration 2Touch and bodywork 2Shame and stigma 2What you are actually defending 2Remembering to do it 2Gratitude 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Help someone grieving 2Being seen and judged 2Tolerate distress 2Ask and say no well 2Panic and the body 2The fear underneath anger 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Practising under provocation 1Safety and grounding 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Validate yourself and others 1Cool the body first 1Shame 1
Approach
Gottman 6Core 3Emotionally focused 2
When
Any ordinary day 7Coming and going 3Something good 1

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.