Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1888 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 105Medication and how it works 82What anger actually is 78The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 59Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 56Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46What ADHD actually is 42Exercise, food and other supports 41When everything feels flat 39Feelings and focus 37Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Shame and stigma 30Treatment and medication 29Making it stick 29Getting assessed and diagnosed 28Breathing 28Screens and attention 28Structure and routine 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What worry does 21What you are actually defending 21Treatment and medication 20Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 18Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Obsessions and compulsions 12Question the thought 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Facing it a step at a time 10Use your strengths 9Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7When anger turns to harm 5When you go numb 4Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Living with uncertainty 4Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Let the wave come 3Rebuilding trust 3Working with anger 3Rest and pacing 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Patience and trust 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1Panic and the body 1The cost of avoiding 1
Approach
When

Rather than asking whether what you are doing is worthwhile, ask what it is keeping you away from.

The first question is too easy to pass. Almost anything you are doing can be defended as useful, which is why it never catches you out. The second…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Shrink the first step until it takes two minutes, and do only that.

The wall is usually the size of the first step, not the whole task. Make the step tiny enough to fall over.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Do not wait to feel ready. Say Musa's prayer, ease my task, and take one step; the wish to go on comes after.

Motivation usually follows action, not the other way round. Start badly if you must, but start.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

When you catch yourself saying you are not motivated, try swapping the word out. Ask instead which bit has stalled: getting started, knowing what comes first, staying with it, or holding your attention on it at all.

Motivation is not one switch. It sits on top of several separate skills, and usually only one of them has failed on a given day. Naming that one…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Putting something off is often fear wearing a lazy costume. If planners have never fixed it for you, that is a clue the trouble is what the task makes you feel, not what your diary looks like.

Ask what you expect to happen when you open it. There is usually something specific in there: that it will be wrong, that it will swallow the whole…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:45

Not all delaying is the same thing. Some of it is wanting it perfect, some of it is expecting to fail the way you did last time, and some of it is being genuinely busy with everything except the one job.

They need different answers. If it is standards, agree on a worse version and hand that in. If it is old failure, pick something small enough to…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

The hardest kind of delaying to catch is the useful kind. You clear the inbox, sort the cupboard, answer three messages, and all of it is real work, and none of it is the thing.

It feels virtuous, which is why it survives so long. A quick test at the end of the day: is the thing I least wanted to do any closer than it was…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Instead of imagining consequences in general, remember one actual night you left it too late, and one actual time you started early. Your own memory carries a weight that a general warning never will.

Pick specific ones. The evening the printer failed at eleven, and the morning you had already finished and went out for a walk instead. Bring back…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Try giving the two of you names. Monday you keeps leaving messes for Thursday you, and Thursday you is getting fed up about it. Say it out loud and let it be a bit ridiculous.

The silliness is the point. Your future self can feel like a stranger you owe nothing to, and turning that person into a character with a grievance…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

Nobody needs help starting the things they enjoy. The skill worth building is starting the dull ones, and it is a narrower skill than it looks.

This is why being able to play a game for four hours tells you nothing about whether starting is hard for you. Treat the boring task as its own…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Getting yourself going today usually means borrowing a feeling from later in the week. You are not summoning willpower so much as bringing Thursday's relief, or Thursday's panic, forward into Monday.

If that transfer is hard for you, the answer is not to try harder but to make the future more present: the date written where you will see it, a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.

It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Working towards something you want will carry you further than working away from something you dread. Before you start, name in your own words what the finished thing gets you.

Fear only switches on when the threat is close, which is exactly how you end up doing a week's work at midnight. It also floods the job with anxiety…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.

It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Before deciding you are avoiding something, check that you actually know what it wants. How long, in what form, by when, and what counts as finished.

A surprising amount of stuckness is not avoidance at all. You cannot start a job whose shape you cannot see, so your mind slides off it and you call…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.

People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

Some days the whole job is putting everything you need in one place and then walking away. Tomorrow you begin already halfway in.

This splits the hard part in two, and both halves are small. Paint, brushes and tape by the door. The forms and the calculator on the kitchen table.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.

That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.

A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.