Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Practising under provocation Someone I care about On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 3 Five minutes 2

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

A practitioner 36 Me 36 Someone I care about 5

Where you are right now

Struggling right now 4 Coping, mostly 1

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 5 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Practising under provocation

Your nervous system 83 Systems for daily life 60 What anger actually is 57 Grounding and settling 48 Moving your body 47 What ADHD actually is 47 Your sense of time 46 Medication and how it works 46 The fear underneath anger 45 Exercise, food and other supports 44 Equanimity and perspective 42 Cool the body first 41 Treatment and medication 33 Bringing the future closer 30 Shame and stigma 29 Get started 24 What worry does 23 Breathing 23 The moment before you snap 21 Structure and routine 20 Remembering to do it 20 Screens and attention 20 What you are actually defending 19 Food, caffeine and fuel 15 Making it stick 14 Feelings and focus 14 Tolerate distress 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 When you use something to cope 12 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Self-compassion 11 Growing empathy 10 Choosing your response 9 Righteous anger and perfectionism 8 When everything feels flat 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Facing it a step at a time 7 Use your strengths 7 When anger turns to harm 6 Practising under provocation 5 Letting it out safely 4 Shame 4 Being seen and judged 3 The cost of avoiding 2 Getting assessed and diagnosed 2 Question the thought 2 Obsessions and compulsions 1 Rest and pacing 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Feeling from the inside 1

When

After a row 3 Any ordinary day 2

When you catch yourself dodging, just note it. Telling yourself off adds shame to a moment that already had plenty going on.

There is a difference between seeing what you did and grading it. Seeing keeps it available as a choice next time, while grading makes you want to…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 16:127

When something you thought in the moment actually worked, name it. A line you produced yourself is worth more than any phrase handed to you.

It might be as ordinary as noticing that this person does not know you, or that none of this will matter next week. Write it down while you still…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 7:201

Be careful with the language about growing a thicker skin. Before anyone is asked to mind less, someone has to check that what they are minding really is only a slight.

Where the insults are discrimination, bullying or the run up to abuse, telling a person to toughen up is telling them to distrust an accurate reading…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 12:18

A cut heals and you stop thinking about it. An insult has no moment where the body tells you it is over, so it stays available to be replayed for years.

That is worth knowing, because it explains why a remark from a decade ago can still tighten your chest, and why you are not weak for that. The…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 42:43

People who get angry a lot are rarely hard. They are easily hurt, and the anger arrives about a second later to cover the hurt.

This changes what you work on. Instead of asking how to control the shouting, ask what keeps landing so easily and where that softness came from. If…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 73:10

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.