Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1345 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 81Medication and how it works 69Get started 61Systems for daily life 52What anger actually is 50Your sense of time 48Food, caffeine and fuel 43The moment before you snap 42Choosing your response 41Exercise, food and other supports 40Moving your body 37What ADHD actually is 35Treatment and medication 34Equanimity and perspective 33Bringing the future closer 33Grounding and settling 31The fear underneath anger 30When everything feels flat 29Screens and attention 28Touch and bodywork 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Structure and routine 25Practising under provocation 24Feelings and focus 22Shame and stigma 22Making it stick 20Treatment and medication 19Cool the body first 19What worry does 19Being seen and judged 18Breathing 17Growing empathy 17Remembering to do it 17When you use something to cope 15Feeling from the inside 15What you are actually defending 13Reading, numbers and learning differences 12Fondness and admiration 12Obsessions and compulsions 10Tolerate distress 10Answering bids 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Staying regulated in conflict 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Knowing your partner 8Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Facing it a step at a time 7Emotions as signals 6Question the thought 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Posture and how you carry yourself 5Shame 4Notice the pattern and flex 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Living with uncertainty 3When anger turns to harm 3Repair after rupture 2Rest and pacing 2Act on your values 2Face it gently 2Keep the bond 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Care for yourself in loss 1Safety and grounding 1Rebuilding trust 1The cost of avoiding 1Listening and understanding 1Panic and the body 1Affection and touch 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

The hardest kind of delaying to catch is the useful kind. You clear the inbox, sort the cupboard, answer three messages, and all of it is real work, and none of it is the thing.

It feels virtuous, which is why it survives so long. A quick test at the end of the day: is the thing I least wanted to do any closer than it was…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Instead of imagining consequences in general, remember one actual night you left it too late, and one actual time you started early. Your own memory carries a weight that a general warning never will.

Pick specific ones. The evening the printer failed at eleven, and the morning you had already finished and went out for a walk instead. Bring back…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Try giving the two of you names. Monday you keeps leaving messes for Thursday you, and Thursday you is getting fed up about it. Say it out loud and let it be a bit ridiculous.

The silliness is the point. Your future self can feel like a stranger you owe nothing to, and turning that person into a character with a grievance…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

Nobody needs help starting the things they enjoy. The skill worth building is starting the dull ones, and it is a narrower skill than it looks.

This is why being able to play a game for four hours tells you nothing about whether starting is hard for you. Treat the boring task as its own…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Getting yourself going today usually means borrowing a feeling from later in the week. You are not summoning willpower so much as bringing Thursday's relief, or Thursday's panic, forward into Monday.

If that transfer is hard for you, the answer is not to try harder but to make the future more present: the date written where you will see it, a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.

It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Working towards something you want will carry you further than working away from something you dread. Before you start, name in your own words what the finished thing gets you.

Fear only switches on when the threat is close, which is exactly how you end up doing a week's work at midnight. It also floods the job with anxiety…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.

It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Before deciding you are avoiding something, check that you actually know what it wants. How long, in what form, by when, and what counts as finished.

A surprising amount of stuckness is not avoidance at all. You cannot start a job whose shape you cannot see, so your mind slides off it and you call…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.

People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

Some days the whole job is putting everything you need in one place and then walking away. Tomorrow you begin already halfway in.

This splits the hard part in two, and both halves are small. Paint, brushes and tape by the door. The forms and the calculator on the kitchen table.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.

That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.

A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

If it has been on the list a year and nothing has moved, consider that you may have already decided. Saying so costs a good deal less than carrying it for another year.

Some items really are waiting for a better month. Others are quietly settled and only the guilt is still going round. You are allowed to say that the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 11:88

Decide now what you get if this is done by Friday, and what it costs you if it is not. Tell someone, so it is on the record.

The trouble with most jobs is that nothing happens either way, at least not for weeks. A deal made in advance puts a real consequence next to it: the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

If you cannot say yes and cannot say no, look for the smaller version. Not the course, one module. Not every week, once a month.

All or nothing is often what makes a decision impossible, since neither end is honestly true for you. A reduced version can sit at the level where…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 73:20

A decision that is barely tipped is still a decision. If one side is ahead by a hair, that is your answer, and you are allowed to take it.

Waiting to feel sure is what keeps people circling for months, because certainty about a genuinely close call is not coming. Most real decisions get…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

An app can tell you what needs doing. It cannot make you want to do it. That gap is why the next one will disappoint you too.

Reminders, alarms and lists are genuinely good at the first job, so it is easy to assume a better one will finish the second. It will not, because…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Choosing the app, picking the colours, setting up the tags: that is the task avoiding you. It is interesting, it feels like preparation, and by bedtime nothing has been done.

New systems are enjoyable in a way the actual work never is, which is exactly why the evening goes that way. A useful test is whether anything on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.