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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1345 practices
On my own remove filterAny ordinary day remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 543Anger 308Your body 258Worry and anxiety 85Low mood and hard feelings 75Your marriage 58After harm 7Yourself and your limits 6Grief and loss 5
How long you have
A minute 333Five minutes 719Twenty minutes 201Longer 92
Who it is written for
Me 1275A practitioner 1229Someone I care about 729My husband or wife 86
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 897Struggling right now 243Getting ready for something 205
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 1345Involves someone else 384Both of us together 165
Theme
Your nervous system 81Medication and how it works 69Get started 61Systems for daily life 52What anger actually is 50Your sense of time 48Food, caffeine and fuel 43The moment before you snap 42Choosing your response 41Exercise, food and other supports 40Moving your body 37What ADHD actually is 35Treatment and medication 34Equanimity and perspective 33Bringing the future closer 33Grounding and settling 31The fear underneath anger 30When everything feels flat 29Screens and attention 28Touch and bodywork 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Structure and routine 25Practising under provocation 24Feelings and focus 22Shame and stigma 22Making it stick 20Treatment and medication 19Cool the body first 19What worry does 19Being seen and judged 18Breathing 17Growing empathy 17Remembering to do it 17When you use something to cope 15Feeling from the inside 15What you are actually defending 13Reading, numbers and learning differences 12Fondness and admiration 12Obsessions and compulsions 10Tolerate distress 10Answering bids 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Staying regulated in conflict 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Knowing your partner 8Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Facing it a step at a time 7Emotions as signals 6Question the thought 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Posture and how you carry yourself 5Shame 4Notice the pattern and flex 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Living with uncertainty 3When anger turns to harm 3Repair after rupture 2Rest and pacing 2Act on your values 2Face it gently 2Keep the bond 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Care for yourself in loss 1Safety and grounding 1Rebuilding trust 1The cost of avoiding 1Listening and understanding 1Panic and the body 1Affection and touch 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
ADHD skills 366Medical and treatment 289Core 209Body based 177CBT 109Mindfulness 95Gottman 30DBT skills 20Emotionally focused 20Trauma informed 16Narrative 8Grief 5Parts work 1
When · Any ordinary day
Any ordinary day 1345Under stress 408After a row 107In a change 67Coming and going 42Something good 3When apart 2

Some people do not really perceive time passing. It is more like weather, something you are inside of, and then it is suddenly six o'clock.

If that is you, the useful word is perception rather than attitude. Being late is not a statement about what you value, though you have probably been…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:12

Short sleep is often not a sleep problem at all. It is midnight arriving without being noticed, on top of a day whose work got pushed into the evening.

If that is the shape of it, advice about winding down will keep missing. What tends to help is an alarm for going to bed, the same as the one for…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:10

Set the limit while you are calm and let the device hold it. A computer that shuts itself down at half past ten is arguing with nobody, which is why it wins.

Screens, browser blockers, a plug timer on the television: pick whichever you will not immediately undo. The point is to move the decision away from…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

A list on the back of an envelope, made before the day starts, beats holding the day in your head. It does not have to be neat and it does not have to survive contact with the morning.

Write what has to happen and roughly in what order, and keep it where you will see it. Two things come out of that. You have made one deliberate…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:12

People put the meeting in the diary and not the shower, the finding of the keys or the twenty minutes on the bus. The event gets planned as though standing up puts you in the room.

Give preparation and travel their own lines in the calendar, with their own start times. If the meeting is at two and it takes half an hour to get…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Long stretches of time are where people dissolve. If a whole afternoon is unusable for you, stop trying to use it as an afternoon and cut it into pieces with edges.

Twenty five minutes on, five off, or forty and ten, or whatever suits the work. What you are after is a short enough run that you can tell from…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

Part of what keeps the late start going is that it has genuinely worked. You have produced something good in one long night before, and you remember it clearly.

So telling you that leaving it late is a bad plan tends to fail, because you have evidence and the other person does not. The honest version is…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

The dreaming is not the problem. It is that bills, forms and renewal dates are dull enough to stop registering at all, and those are the things that actually damage a life.

People who are managing well in every visible way still get brought down by a lapsed policy or an unopened letter from the council. Trying to care…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:11

If reading has always been slow and effortful, that is worth looking at in its own right. Dyslexia and ADHD turn up together far more often than chance would give, and they need different help.

Someone can do very well in a subject built on reading and still read slowly, and that is often the difficulty left over once everything else has…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:12

Bad with time covers at least five different things: arriving late, missing deadlines, never planning ahead, always guessing the best case, and losing hours inside something absorbing. Each one has a different fix.

Write your own list and mark which ones actually apply to you. Someone who is never late but always guesses the best case needs a record of real…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 30:18

A clock only counts if you can see it without doing anything. Behind you, in a pocket, behind a lock screen: that is not a clock, that is an errand.

Walk through the places where time actually disappears for you and put something visible in each one. The bathroom, the kitchen, the desk, the room…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

When you are sure something takes ten minutes, do not argue with yourself. Write down the guess, start a timer, and look at both afterwards.

Do it for the handful of jobs that keep wrecking your mornings: the shower, the email, the tidy before guests. Keep the numbers somewhere you can…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 23:113

Write the morning out in small steps with times against them and stick it where you will pass it. Bathroom finished by quarter past, clothes on by half past, at the table by twenty to.

A single hour before you leave is far too long an interval to monitor, so you find out you are late only when you are late. Broken into six pieces,…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 20:130

Shame speaks in one flat sentence: I am bad. Notice that it never offers evidence, it just announces a verdict.

Because the claim covers all of you, no good day can disprove it. That is what makes it different from ordinary regret, which points at one thing you…

Five minutesShameTrauma informedQur’an 95:4

You were the child. They were the adults. Say it as often as you need to, because shame will keep quietly filing it the other way round.

It is not an argument to win, more a fact to keep returning to. When a memory arrives with you cast as the guilty one, try describing the same scene…

Five minutesShameTrauma informedQur’an 49:11

When a child cannot stop what is happening, the mind often settles on the one explanation that leaves some control: it must be me. Being powerless and being at fault are not the same thing, though they can feel identical.

Try separating what was genuinely within your reach at that age from what you assumed, or were told, was your job. A child cannot make a parent stop…

Twenty minutesShameTrauma informedQur’an 2:286

A child facing a frightening parent often reaches for the safer story: I am the bad one and they are fine. It costs the child their sense of worth and buys them a world that still makes sense.

If that bargain feels familiar, notice that it was clever rather than foolish. A small person who depends on someone cannot afford to know that…

Twenty minutesShameTrauma informedQur’an 17:70

ADD and ADHD are not two different things. ADD is the older public word for what is now called ADHD, inattentive type, and the quieter presentation is not a lighter version of it.

The mix up matters more than it sounds. Parents sometimes hear ADD and take it to mean something mild that will not need treatment, and school or…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 33:5

Manuals rename things. Paediatric bipolar became disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, whole categories were reshuffled to line up with the international classification, and none of it changed who anybody was.

If you have old paperwork carrying a label nobody uses now, that is bookkeeping rather than a hidden verdict on you. What is worth your attention is…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 17:84

A blank face is not usually an angry one. If you tend to read disappointment into people who are only tired or thinking, that reading is a habit, and habits can be checked.

Two things feed it. Reading faces accurately is genuinely harder for some people with ADHD, and if you grew up being told off a great deal, expecting…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 49:12

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.