Practices

You do not need a diagnosis to be worth teaching this to. Something that takes seconds, costs nothing and travels with you is worth having before you need it.

Practise it on an ordinary day, sitting on the bus or waiting for the kettle, so your hands already know it when the day is not ordinary. That is…

When you sit down to breathe, notice your pelvis. Tucked hard under or tipped hard forward both squeeze the breath; somewhere in the middle lets the diaphragm move.

Rock gently forward and back a few times and stop where the breath feels easiest, rather than aiming for a posture that looks correct. You will…

The benefit of a settling practice is cumulative. A fortnight of it now and then does little; the people who get most out of it are the ones who kept going for years.

This cuts both ways, and both are worth knowing. Two weeks of daily practice with no obvious result is not proof that it will not work for you. And…

Your mind wandering off during meditation is not you failing at it. Noticing that it went, and coming back, is the whole exercise.

People with restless attention often try meditation, find their head full of noise, decide they are uniquely bad at it and never go back. Nobody…

Think of your thoughts as traffic on a road. Practice thins the traffic. It does not close the road, and nobody has ever managed to close it.

This is a more useful target than clearing your mind, because you can tell whether it is happening. Some days it is bumper to bumper and the practice…

Five minutes chosen for the state you are actually in beats twenty minutes of open sitting. Pick the one labelled stressed, or cannot sleep, or about to walk into work.

Two things end a practice early: it was longer than the attention you had that day, and you had to decide what to do before you could start. Short…

Your settling kit should cost nothing. Tea you already buy, a photo already on your phone, an old jumper, a smooth stone, a puzzle that takes your whole attention.

Anything you have to buy first becomes a reason not to start, and for anyone short of money it can add a layer of shame to the thing that was meant…

If you are going to try a mindfulness course, give it the full eight weeks before deciding. Expect a real but moderate change rather than a different life.

Courses of this length help a good number of people and do very little for others, which is worth knowing at the start so that being in the second…

A new practice needs somewhere to live. Hook it to something you already do a few times a day, like sitting down to eat.

Vague plans to practise more collapse without anyone noticing. Name the moment instead: when I put my plate down, I take three slow breaths before…

One or two minutes every day will do more for you than forty minutes once a week. The long sit sounds serious and is mostly a good way to end up dreading it.

Set the price so low that skipping it would be odd: a minute, at a moment you already have. The aim is that it happens again tomorrow, not that it…

If a practice looks pointless, you will have dropped it by Thursday. Before you take on anything new, get clear on what it is meant to be building in you.

Ask for the mechanism in one plain sentence: this repeated thing grows that capacity. Write it somewhere you will actually see it. When the practice…

Resolving harder is not a plan. What protects you in a hot moment is a skill you have already practised and a situation you have set up in your favour.

Willpower is at its thinnest exactly when you need it most: late, tired, hungry, already provoked. So do the work earlier, where it is cheap. Decide…

Anger gets fed from several places: blame, not being able to bear not knowing, losing sight of the other person, and needs you never said out loud. Each one wants a different kind of work.

So it is worth asking which of them is mostly yours. If it is blame, forgiveness is the road. If it is not knowing, the work is learning to sit with…

Most children do not pick up reading by sitting near books. Around a fifth need very structured, repetitive teaching before it clicks, and about half of the rest still need a good deal of deliberate instruction, so structured teaching is the ordinary case rather than a special measure.

It helps to stop asking who qualifies for help and start asking how much teaching each child needs. A child left to fail badly enough to earn support…

When reading results lift across a whole state after every teacher is retrained, the lesson is uncomfortable and hopeful at once. A good part of what looks like children failing is teaching that has not caught up yet.

One state moved from flat to clearly improved reading in years when many others slipped, and what changed was not the children but how teachers were…

Speech arrives on its own if a child is spoken to. Reading, writing and arithmetic do not, and it is no failing that they have to be taught piece by piece.

Children absorb talk from the people around them without lessons. Print is a much later invention and the brain has no ready made place for it, so it…

A child working words out from the pictures and the shape of the sentence is guessing well, not reading yet. It usually holds up until around the third year of school and then gives way, because the pictures stop and the words get longer.

Ask to hear the child read something with no illustrations and no predictable pattern. That is where you find out whether sounds and letters have…

In most children attention and memory sit at roughly the same level. When memory is far ahead of everything around it, ask what it has been quietly making up for.

Only fair attention with an unusually strong working memory is a signal rather than a strength to celebrate. The memory is carrying something. Look…

Before adding more content, look at what the child has to receive it with: attention, memory for what was just said, language. Two children given the same lesson do not take away the same amount, and that difference is usually where the real gap sits.

It is tempting to answer a gap with better materials, since materials are the part that can be bought. But if a child cannot hold a sentence in mind…

When the sound scores and the movement scores are both near the floor, you are looking at more than a reading problem. That pattern needs specialist teaching rather than a general classroom programme with a bit more of it.

Naming things quickly, repeating made up words, working out an unfamiliar word: all at the bottom. Then coordination and handwriting down in the same…