Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1974 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60The fear underneath anger 57Equanimity and perspective 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52What ADHD actually is 49Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46Exercise, food and other supports 44When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Practising under provocation 36Staying regulated in conflict 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25Treatment and medication 24What worry does 24Feeling from the inside 23Tolerate distress 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Fondness and admiration 13Breaking the worry loop 13Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Answering bids 13Self-compassion 12Emotions as signals 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Shame 10Knowing your partner 10Use your strengths 9Repair after rupture 8Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8When anger turns to harm 7Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Name what you feel 3Act on your values 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Panic and the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Validate yourself and others 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
When

Put something you genuinely want at the end of the chain, and keep it where you can see it. A reward far off in the future is much the same as no reward at all.

Name it before you begin and write it at the top of the page. Keep it close: this evening rather than next term. It does not have to be impressive.…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Putting something in the diary does not guarantee it happens. It gives it a chance it did not have before. That is the honest promise, and it is still worth having.

Expect a fair few blocks to pass unused, particularly in the first month. That is not the system failing, it is the system doing what it does, which…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Putting a task in the diary is not the same as doing it. The slot holds the time. The starting is still yours.

Worth knowing before you build anything, because when the first week goes by with the boxes filled and half of them untouched, the honest conclusion…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

When something has sat undone for weeks, ask what next month's version of you would say about it. Relieved it is finished, or honestly indifferent?

If future you would be relieved, this is procrastination and it needs a hand: a smaller first step, a set time, someone alongside you. If future you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

Every time your eye lands on the job you have never started, it takes a small toll. Ten of those on one list is a tax you pay all day without noticing.

This is the argument for cutting a list back hard, and it has nothing to do with tidiness. An item you are not going to do still costs you something…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

An hour exists somewhere in the week for almost anything. That is what makes yes so easy, and it is not the same as having an hour.

The question that gets skipped is not whether the time exists but what is already claiming it. Answering that means calling to mind everything you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Practise one sentence until it comes out on its own: let me check and come back to you. It buys the few minutes you need to answer truthfully.

The moment of being asked is the hard part, because the yes is out of your mouth before any checking has happened. Having one phrase ready means you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

The cheapest place to deal with a task is before it ever reaches your list. Some things are better declined in the moment they are offered.

Once something is written down it starts costing you. It gets read, moved to next week, copied out again, felt guilty about. Filtering at the door…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Before a task you have been circling for days, give five minutes to moving your body. A brisk walk or a couple of flights of stairs is often enough to make starting feel less like pushing at a door that will not open.

Treat the movement as part of the task rather than something virtuous you do separately. The lift is short lived, so it helps most sitting right…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 20:114

Light movement while you work is not stolen from the work. Rocking a foot, standing up, a slow circuit of the room on a call: for many people the concentration goes up rather than down.

Worth testing instead of assuming. Take one task you always do sitting still and do it moving gently: read on your feet, take the meeting walking,…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 22:78

Do not leave it to eleven at night to decide whether to close the tab. Set the block in the afternoon, while you are still the version of yourself who wants it set.

A browser extension that shuts certain sites between certain hours, a router on a timer, mobile data off after a set time. Pick one, set it once, and…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 34:11

If everything came apart the moment school ended, it may be that the structure was never yours. It belonged to the timetable, and the timetable stopped.

School decides when you get up, what happens next and when the work is due, so nobody ever finds out whether the person can build a week from…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

Decide now what you will do when the technology fails, because it will. The plan can be one line: if the connection drops, I take the laptop to the library and carry on there.

Write the fallback next to the thing it protects. Where else could I work, who do I message to say I will be late, what is the offline version of…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:283

Where there is a choice, take the class that meets at a fixed hour with other people in the room. Watch it whenever you like turns into never watched more often than anyone admits.

A live class hands you three things for nothing: a time, other people present, and someone who notices you are missing. A recorded course strips all…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2

Planning does not really happen in your head. Until the week is written somewhere you actually look, you are guessing, however sincere your intentions are.

One calendar rather than four. Paper or phone matters far less than whether you will open it, so choose the one that appears in front of you without…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

Writing the list is the easy half. If twelve things are down on paper and you still cannot move, the missing skill is choosing, not capturing.

Decide with a question rather than by feel: what actually happens if this is not done by Friday. Anything with a real consequence goes to the top,…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:47

Urgent means the clock is pushing. Important means it matters to the life you are trying to have. In the moment the two feel identical, and they are not.

Take your list and put one letter beside each thing. U if something real goes wrong today when it slips, I if it moves you towards something you care…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

The good place to be is where things matter but nothing is on fire yet. Booking the check-up, planning next term, getting the haircut before it becomes a situation.

None of it feels like an achievement, which is exactly why it gets no credit and keeps slipping. Try counting it as work: the dentist, the form, an…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:47

There is a corner of the week that is neither urgent nor important, and it is where avoiding lives. The real cost is rarely the lost hours. It is what you end up saying to yourself afterwards.

Learn the difference between resting and avoiding, because from outside they look identical and they feel nothing alike. Rest leaves you lighter.…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Instead of guessing what pulls you away, catch it happening. Keep a scrap of paper beside you for a week and note whatever took you off, at the moment it takes you off.

Two words is plenty: phone, hungry, that noise, the thought about Saturday. The writing itself breaks the drift, so some of the benefit arrives…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.