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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices
Repair after rupture remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 6Five minutes 1Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for
Me 8My husband or wife 8
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Involves someone else 11On my own 8
Theme · Repair after rupture
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Get started 41Choosing your response 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Touch and bodywork 30Moving your body 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Food, caffeine and fuel 19Practising under provocation 19Cool the body first 18Structure and routine 18Making it stick 18What you are actually defending 17Screens and attention 17What worry does 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Feeling from the inside 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Shame and stigma 12Being seen and judged 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Emotions as signals 8Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7When you use something to cope 7Gratitude 7Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6When anger turns to harm 5Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 3Rebuilding trust 3Let the wave come 3Working with anger 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Calm the body 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Get it out of your head 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Keep the bond 2Living with uncertainty 1The cost of avoiding 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1
Approach
Core 4Emotionally focused 3Gottman 1
When
After a row 6Any ordinary day 2

Offer a full, tender apology for a wound, with no defence appended.

I see how that hurt you, and I am truly sorry. Then stop. The silence after is the repair.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

Rebuild trust today with one small, consistent, kept action rather than a grand promise.

Trust returns in tiny reliable acts, not speeches. Do the small thing you said, again.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 23:8

Find the part of the last argument that was yours, and own it with no but after it.

Even ten percent. I was harsh, that was on me. Ownership without defence lets them soften.

A minuteRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 7:23

Accept their repair attempt even while you are still a little angry.

Letting a small peace offering land, before you feel finished, is its own kind of strength.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 42:40

Take the word if out of your apology.

An apology with if in it quietly takes itself back; without it, the apology is whole.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 41:34

Let go of one old grievance about something they have already changed.

Holding a debt they have already paid keeps the wound open to no one's good.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 64:14

Apologise for what landed, not for what you meant.

If you owe an apology today, leave out the word "if" and leave out your intentions. Name what you actually did and what it cost them. "I dismissed…

Five minutesRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 4:128

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.