Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Repair after rupture On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 6 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 8 Me 8

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Involves someone else 11 On my own 8

Theme · Repair after rupture

Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83 Medication and how it works 83 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 60 Equanimity and perspective 57 The fear underneath anger 57 Cool the body first 55 Your sense of time 52 Touch and bodywork 52 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 What ADHD actually is 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 Exercise, food and other supports 44 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 43 Getting assessed and diagnosed 42 Feelings and focus 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Practising under provocation 36 Screens and attention 31 Shame and stigma 30 Making it stick 29 Breathing 28 Structure and routine 25 What worry does 24 Treatment and medication 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What you are actually defending 21 Remembering to do it 20 Growing empathy 20 When you use something to cope 19 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Answering bids 13 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 Self-compassion 12 Emotions as signals 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 11 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Repair after rupture 8 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 When anger turns to harm 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Gratitude 7 When you go numb 4 Meaning after harm 4 Living with uncertainty 4 Letting it out safely 4 Name what you feel 3 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Act on your values 3 Safety and grounding 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Rest and pacing 3 Calm the body 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Work with your brain 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Face it gently 2 Patience and trust 2 Rituals of connection 2 Ride the urge 2 Affection and touch 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Get it out of your head 2 Panic and the body 2 Find meaning 2 Listen to the body 2 Validate yourself and others 1 Listening and understanding 1

Approach

Core 4 Emotionally focused 3 Gottman 1

When

After a row 6 Any ordinary day 2

Offer a full, tender apology for a wound, with no defence appended.

I see how that hurt you, and I am truly sorry. Then stop. The silence after is the repair.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

Rebuild trust today with one small, consistent, kept action rather than a grand promise.

Trust returns in tiny reliable acts, not speeches. Do the small thing you said, again.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 23:8

Find the part of the last argument that was yours, and own it with no but after it.

Even ten percent. I was harsh, that was on me. Ownership without defence lets them soften.

A minuteRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 7:23

Accept their repair attempt even while you are still a little angry.

Letting a small peace offering land, before you feel finished, is its own kind of strength.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 42:40

Take the word if out of your apology.

An apology with if in it quietly takes itself back; without it, the apology is whole.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 41:34

Let go of one old grievance about something they have already changed.

Holding a debt they have already paid keeps the wound open to no one's good.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 64:14

Apologise for what landed, not for what you meant.

If you owe an apology today, leave out the word "if" and leave out your intentions. Name what you actually did and what it cost them. "I dismissed…

Five minutesRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 4:128

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.