Practices

When you agree to something, agree who follows up. Do you tell them if it slips, or do they check in with you?

Most of the hurt around late work comes from nobody having said. You assume they will ask, they assume you will speak up, and the silence in between…

But what if I need it one day? The honest answer is that keeping it has a daily price. A list you cannot find anything in has stopped being a list.

The thing you might want once in two years is sitting on top of the thing you need on Thursday. That holds for a to-do list, a desk and a spare room…

ADHD clutter and hoarding look alike from the doorway and are not the same thing. Many people living among piles would be delighted if the lot vanished overnight.

Hoarding is about not being able to part with things. This is more often about sorting being unbearable, or about keeping something in case it turns…

Distraction and disorder feed each other. Every hunt for the missing keys is a perfect opening for your attention to wander off somewhere more interesting.

Which is why sorting the house out is not a side project to the attention problem. Ten minutes of searching is precisely the dull, shapeless stretch…

Every small snag in a task is an exit. The forgotten password, the missing form, the bit where you are not sure what happens next: each one is a chance to say forget it, I will do this later.

So do the snag hunting before you sit down rather than during. Have the login to hand, the papers in one place, the next step written in words a…

Early on, reward the work being finished even when it is rough. Accuracy tends to follow once things are getting done at all.

If the reward only arrives for good work, a child who never finishes anything earns nothing, and a plan that pays out nothing stops being a plan. Set…

When a decision is looming, write the options out rather than talking them through. A test is coming: do nothing, make a revision timetable, ask for extra help. Three lines on paper.

Options do not tend to appear by themselves when planning is hard, and holding three of them in mind while weighing them up is harder still. On paper…

Make one list in the morning, glance at it a few times during the day, and move whatever is left onto tomorrow's list rather than letting it disappear.

The glancing matters as much as the writing, since a list written at eight and never looked at again is just a piece of paper. Carrying items forward…

Make handed-in homework one of the tracked targets. It is the thing that goes wrong most and the thing worth most when it goes right.

Homework has four separate places to fail: writing down what it is, bringing the right things home, actually doing it, and getting it back the next…

Look in often, say the good bits out loud, and stop for a few minutes about every hour. Three small things that carry more than any talk about concentrating harder.

Checking in supplies the noticing a child cannot yet do for themselves, and it lands better as a passing question than as an inspection. The praise…

If attention is the diagnosis and reading, writing or maths is still unusually hard, ask whether there is a second thing sitting underneath. The two travel together often enough that one label is rarely the whole story.

A specific difficulty with reading, written expression or number sits alongside attention problems in a large share of cases, and it needs its own…

Support does not have to stop at eighteen. Plan for it to thin out gradually through the twenties, at a level everyone has agreed rather than one that gets argued over every month.

A workable version names three things: what is still being helped with, how much, and when you will look at it again. Every six months is usually…

Keeping your own prescription going is a skill like any other: when to reorder, who to ring, what to do when the pharmacy has none. Better learned before the week you need it.

Put the whole thing in one place: the name and dose, the surgery or clinic, how far ahead a repeat has to go in, what happens when you travel, who to…

Not knowing how to do an ordinary thing, a bank transfer, a form, a phone call to book something, says nothing about your intelligence. It says nobody ever sat down and showed you.

These gaps hide well, because they embarrass people in a way that larger problems somehow do not. Someone can talk fluently about difficult ideas and…

Whatever system you build has to survive a bad day. When feeling comes in a wave, the calendar and the checklist are the first things to go, so decide now what that hour looks like.

Write down the smallest possible version of the day: the two things that still happen, everything else forgiven until tomorrow. Have somewhere for…

Book time on your own the way you would book anything else. Not as a reward for having finished everything, and not only once you are already frayed.

Overwhelm often comes from the sheer volume of contact rather than from the work: lectures, housemates, group chats, the phone going all evening.…

University is one route, not the route. Saying so only helps if you can name the others, so find out what actually exists before you have the conversation.

Apprenticeships, supported employment schemes, part time study, a trade, working while doing one course at a time. In many places there are publicly…

When something has become impossible, start far below it. Sitting in the parked car with the engine off is a real first step, and it is the one that gets somewhere.

Choose a version so small it feels slightly ridiculous, repeat it until it is dull, then add one notch. Sit in the car. Then start the engine. Then…

Pick the place that will actually hold the person, not the one with the better name on the letterhead. Three years somewhere that fits beats one term somewhere that does not.

Ask concrete questions before anyone commits. Who notices when a student stops turning up. How are adjustments actually arranged, and by whom. How…

If it is out of sight it is gone, so build the system around what you can see. Clothes on an open shelf and books in the drawer is a perfectly good arrangement when that is what works.

Tidy usually means hidden, which is why so much storage quietly fails. Try the opposite: hooks instead of hangers, open boxes, a clear jar, one bowl…