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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
Repair after rupture remove filterMe remove filterCore remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 1
Who it is written for · Me
Me 5My husband or wife 5
On your own, or with someone
On my own 4Involves someone else 1
Theme · Repair after rupture
What anger actually is 89The fear underneath anger 51Choosing your response 47The moment before you snap 41Equanimity and perspective 23Making it stick 15What you are actually defending 14Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Staying regulated in conflict 12Screens and attention 11Answering bids 7Knowing your partner 6Repair after rupture 5Affection and touch 5Rituals of connection 5Gratitude 5Fondness and admiration 5Cool the body first 5When anger turns to harm 5Shared spiritual life 4Question the thought 3Working with anger 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Act on your values 2
Approach · Core
Gottman 7Emotionally focused 7Core 5

Make one repair attempt in the middle of a disagreement: a softer word, a small joke, a hand.

The couples who last are not those who never fight, but those who reach for each other mid-fight.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 49:10

Accept their repair attempt even while you are still a little angry.

Letting a small peace offering land, before you feel finished, is its own kind of strength.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 42:40

Take the word if out of your apology.

An apology with if in it quietly takes itself back; without it, the apology is whole.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 41:34

Let go of one old grievance about something they have already changed.

Holding a debt they have already paid keeps the wound open to no one's good.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 64:14

Apologise for what landed, not for what you meant.

If you owe an apology today, leave out the word "if" and leave out your intentions. Name what you actually did and what it cost them. "I dismissed…

Five minutesRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 4:128

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.