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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

380 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterMe remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 173Your body 71Anger 54Your marriage 28Low mood and hard feelings 27Worry and anxiety 23Grief and loss 2After harm 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 750Five minutes 1182Twenty minutes 380Longer 143
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 425Me 380Someone I care about 304My husband or wife 57
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 218Struggling right now 98Getting ready for something 64
On your own, or with someone
On my own 253Involves someone else 83Both of us together 44
Theme
Systems for daily life 38Medication and how it works 26Moving your body 24Get started 17Feelings and focus 14Your nervous system 14What ADHD actually is 13Treatment and medication 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Your sense of time 10What anger actually is 9Screens and attention 9Bringing the future closer 9Getting assessed and diagnosed 8The moment before you snap 8Shared spiritual life 7Touch and bodywork 6The fear underneath anger 6Cool the body first 6Grounding and settling 6Tolerate distress 6Facing it a step at a time 5Breaking the worry loop 5Exercise, food and other supports 5When you use something to cope 5Shame 5Breathing 5Staying regulated in conflict 5Emotions as signals 5Growing empathy 4Choosing your response 4Being seen and judged 4Rituals of connection 4Repair after rupture 4Remembering to do it 4Use your strengths 3The cost of avoiding 3Rebuilding trust 3What worry does 3When everything feels flat 3Shame and stigma 3Knowing your partner 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Equanimity and perspective 3Practising under provocation 3When anger turns to harm 2Answering bids 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2Making it stick 2Structure and routine 2Letting it out safely 2Feeling from the inside 2Keep the bond 1What you are actually defending 1Living with uncertainty 1Treatment and medication 1Safety and grounding 1Rest and pacing 1Question the thought 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1
Approach
ADHD skills 121Medical and treatment 84Body based 42CBT 36Core 31Gottman 24Mindfulness 11Emotionally focused 10Trauma informed 8DBT skills 6Grief 4Narrative 3
When
Any ordinary day 281Under stress 41In a change 21After a row 20Coming and going 12When apart 3Something good 2

Go to the gym without the getting ready. No mirror check, no fixing your hair, just train and come home.

This works because it lands exactly where many people quietly keep their worth, and because the real consequences are nil. Nobody there is thinking…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 22:35

A belief about yourself comes with a feeling somewhere in the body, an emotion, and a set of things you then do or avoid. Argue only with the words and the rest of it carries on exactly as before.

This is the gap behind I know it is not true but I do not feel it. Next time you catch the belief, note where it sits physically, what emotion turned…

Twenty minutesQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 3:191

After a betrayal, heal by talking the injury through together, fully, rather than skipping past it in silence.

Couples who avoid the subject drift apart; those who talk it through, honestly and thoroughly, are the ones who make it.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:42

Atonement is not only apology; it is changed behavior over time. Let your actions become the apology.

Words open the door; sustained new behavior walks through it. Trust returns through consistency, not speeches.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:70

Let the hurt partner set the pace of healing. It takes as long as it takes; there is no rushing trust back.

You cannot demand that trust return on a schedule. Honor the injured partner's timeline without pressure.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:286

There is a point where a to do list stops being a tool and becomes something you flinch away from. If you have not opened yours in a fortnight, it has passed that point.

The usual advice is to work through it, which is precisely what nobody does with a list that long. It is kinder and quicker to start a fresh page…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 18:24

Take one of the gaps you already have, the commute or the walk or the shower, and use it to ask what is coming up this week and what might be slipping. No new tool, no new app, just the question.

That turns something accidental into something you can count on. It works best in the same place each time, so that the place starts asking the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

Anything that comes round every month should be leaving your account without you. Direct debits and standing orders take the remembering out of the job altogether, which beats any reminder you could set.

It is worth an afternoon. List what recurs, automate what can be automated, and put one calendar note to check the statement each month instead of…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 23:8

Every extra step in a task is another place to lose it. Three clicks and done beats a process with a form, an envelope and a walk to the postbox, even when the second one saves a little money.

Before you commit to a routine, count its steps, then take some out. Bin bags stored next to the bin, stamps kept with the envelopes, paying on the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 16:91

Name one old hurt with your spouse that still aches, gently and without re-litigating.

When you were not there that day, it marked me. Naming it is not attacking, it is asking to heal.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Where the harm has truly stopped, begin to set down a grievance you have carried.

Not forgetting, releasing. Once the wound is no longer being made, let it start to close.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 24:22

Revisit a past fight only once you are both calm, from the balcony, without climbing back into it.

Processing means talking about the incident, not re-fighting it. Wait until the heat is gone.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 4:128

Rest is not the prize waiting at the end of the work. It is part of what makes the work possible, and it does not have to be earned first.

Self control runs down over a day the way a battery does, and the thing that fills it back up is properly stopping. What that looks like is yours to…

Twenty minutesRest and pacingADHD skillsQur’an 10:67

If you carry a firm picture of how the world is supposed to work, the world will break it several times a day. No coping skill outpaces a supply of grievance that never runs out.

This is not a case for caring less about fairness. It is about telling apart an injustice you could act on from the general refusal of life to be…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:104

Anger runs on the word should, and should is a word about debt. Write out what you believe this person owes you, then mark which of those they ever actually agreed to.

Most lists come out in two parts. There are the real agreements, said out loud and accepted, and there are the ones you assumed any decent person…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 4:58

Anger sticks around because it works, at least in the short run. Before trying to put it down, be honest about what it has been buying you.

Usually it is some form of leverage: people move faster, back down, stop asking. Sometimes it is plainer than that, a way to feel like something…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 9:105

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.