Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

58 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Your sense of time
Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 73Grounding and settling 67Equanimity and perspective 66Moving your body 63Cool the body first 61Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59Feelings and focus 58The fear underneath anger 58Bringing the future closer 58Your sense of time 58Touch and bodywork 56Getting assessed and diagnosed 50What ADHD actually is 48Practising under provocation 46Exercise, food and other supports 46When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 42Screens and attention 40Growing empathy 34Breathing 34Shame and stigma 30Being seen and judged 30Making it stick 30Structure and routine 28Tolerate distress 26Remembering to do it 26What worry does 25Knowing your partner 25Treatment and medication 25Answering bids 24Feeling from the inside 23What you are actually defending 23Breaking the worry loop 23When you use something to cope 22Emotions as signals 22Repair after rupture 19Facing it a step at a time 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Obsessions and compulsions 14Listening and understanding 13Posture and how you carry yourself 13Rituals of connection 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Shame 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8The cost of avoiding 7Living with uncertainty 5Rest and pacing 5When you go numb 5When anger turns to harm 5Letting it out safely 4Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Let the wave come 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Name what you feel 3Panic and the body 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Ask and say no well 2Ride the urge 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Work with your brain 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Validate yourself and others 2Find meaning 2Help someone grieving 2Keep the bond 2Face it gently 2Your window of tolerance 2Care for yourself in loss 2
When

Rushing out of the door is the most reliable way to leave something behind. The hurry uses up the very attention that would have checked for the keys.

The answer is not to remember harder, it is to move the check earlier. Pack the bag the night before and leave it by the door, and give yourself a…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

People rarely stop at you are late. They move on to what sort of person is late, and then it is about respect and reliability rather than about time. You have probably taken that account on board yourself.

Naming the jump out loud helps, at home and at work: this is a difficulty with timing, here is what I am putting in place, and it is not a comment on…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:11

Set the limit while you are calm and let the device hold it. A computer that shuts itself down at half past ten is arguing with nobody, which is why it wins.

Screens, browser blockers, a plug timer on the television: pick whichever you will not immediately undo. The point is to move the decision away from…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

A list on the back of an envelope, made before the day starts, beats holding the day in your head. It does not have to be neat and it does not have to survive contact with the morning.

Write what has to happen and roughly in what order, and keep it where you will see it. Two things come out of that. You have made one deliberate…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:12

People put the meeting in the diary and not the shower, the finding of the keys or the twenty minutes on the bus. The event gets planned as though standing up puts you in the room.

Give preparation and travel their own lines in the calendar, with their own start times. If the meeting is at two and it takes half an hour to get…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Long stretches of time are where people dissolve. If a whole afternoon is unusable for you, stop trying to use it as an afternoon and cut it into pieces with edges.

Twenty five minutes on, five off, or forty and ten, or whatever suits the work. What you are after is a short enough run that you can tell from…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

If the test is on Friday and it is Monday, Friday is doing almost no work. Put something today on the end of today's revision, however small.

This is not spoiling a child. It is matching the reward to the timescale they can actually feel, which is roughly the one they are living in. Half an…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:11

Part of what keeps the late start going is that it has genuinely worked. You have produced something good in one long night before, and you remember it clearly.

So telling you that leaving it late is a bad plan tends to fail, because you have evidence and the other person does not. The honest version is…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

The dreaming is not the problem. It is that bills, forms and renewal dates are dull enough to stop registering at all, and those are the things that actually damage a life.

People who are managing well in every visible way still get brought down by a lapsed policy or an unopened letter from the council. Trying to care…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:11

If reading has always been slow and effortful, that is worth looking at in its own right. Dyslexia and ADHD turn up together far more often than chance would give, and they need different help.

Someone can do very well in a subject built on reading and still read slowly, and that is often the difficulty left over once everything else has…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:12

When someone reminds you often enough, things do get done. But the sense of time doing the work is theirs, which is why it all collapses the moment they stop.

Worth naming out loud in a household, because the reminding costs the relationship something and never builds the missing part. A better arrangement…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:3

Bad with time covers at least five different things: arriving late, missing deadlines, never planning ahead, always guessing the best case, and losing hours inside something absorbing. Each one has a different fix.

Write your own list and mark which ones actually apply to you. Someone who is never late but always guesses the best case needs a record of real…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 30:18

A clock only counts if you can see it without doing anything. Behind you, in a pocket, behind a lock screen: that is not a clock, that is an errand.

Walk through the places where time actually disappears for you and put something visible in each one. The bathroom, the kitchen, the desk, the room…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

When you are sure something takes ten minutes, do not argue with yourself. Write down the guess, start a timer, and look at both afterwards.

Do it for the handful of jobs that keep wrecking your mornings: the shower, the email, the tidy before guests. Keep the numbers somewhere you can…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 23:113

Write the morning out in small steps with times against them and stick it where you will pass it. Bathroom finished by quarter past, clothes on by half past, at the table by twenty to.

A single hour before you leave is far too long an interval to monitor, so you find out you are late only when you are late. Broken into six pieces,…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 20:130

If the internal clock is not there, put clocks in the room. Somewhere the child can see without turning round, a timer on the desk, one on the wall by where they work.

Think of it as a prop rather than a cure. The aim is not to train an ability into existence before the child is allowed to cope, it is to let them…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 6:96

Take the Friday deadline and walk it backwards onto the days. What happens Monday, what happens Tuesday, written down where both of you can see it.

Children with this difficulty rarely generate the sequence themselves, and asking them to is asking for the thing that is hard. So supply it, on…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:38

Walking away from a course or a job that was never going to fit can be the sensible move rather than a failure of nerve. It is also frightening, particularly when other people are paying for it.

Fit does more work here than effort does. The person who cannot survive a rigid nine to five in an open plan office may be excellent somewhere with…

LongerYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.