Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1457 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme
Medication and how it works 91Staying regulated in conflict 60Systems for daily life 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Grounding and settling 24Answering bids 24Treatment and medication 22Practising under provocation 22What ADHD actually is 20Screens and attention 20Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Being seen and judged 18Breathing 18Making it stick 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Treatment and medication 15What worry does 15Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Emotions as signals 14Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Breaking the worry loop 13Feeling from the inside 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12When you use something to cope 9Gratitude 9Tolerate distress 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Safety and grounding 4When anger turns to harm 3Working with anger 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Face it gently 2Ask and say no well 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Care for yourself in loss 2Work with your brain 2Validate yourself and others 2Listen to the body 2The cost of avoiding 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Panic and the body 1Shame 1
Approach
When

Not all delaying is the same thing. Some of it is wanting it perfect, some of it is expecting to fail the way you did last time, and some of it is being genuinely busy with everything except the one job.

They need different answers. If it is standards, agree on a worse version and hand that in. If it is old failure, pick something small enough to…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

The hardest kind of delaying to catch is the useful kind. You clear the inbox, sort the cupboard, answer three messages, and all of it is real work, and none of it is the thing.

It feels virtuous, which is why it survives so long. A quick test at the end of the day: is the thing I least wanted to do any closer than it was…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Instead of imagining consequences in general, remember one actual night you left it too late, and one actual time you started early. Your own memory carries a weight that a general warning never will.

Pick specific ones. The evening the printer failed at eleven, and the morning you had already finished and went out for a walk instead. Bring back…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 23:61

Try giving the two of you names. Monday you keeps leaving messes for Thursday you, and Thursday you is getting fed up about it. Say it out loud and let it be a bit ridiculous.

The silliness is the point. Your future self can feel like a stranger you owe nothing to, and turning that person into a character with a grievance…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

Nobody needs help starting the things they enjoy. The skill worth building is starting the dull ones, and it is a narrower skill than it looks.

This is why being able to play a game for four hours tells you nothing about whether starting is hard for you. Treat the boring task as its own…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Getting yourself going today usually means borrowing a feeling from later in the week. You are not summoning willpower so much as bringing Thursday's relief, or Thursday's panic, forward into Monday.

If that transfer is hard for you, the answer is not to try harder but to make the future more present: the date written where you will see it, a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Two kinds of pressure get things done: the kind that comes from outside you, like deadlines and someone waiting, and the kind you generate yourself. Both are legitimate.

It is worth knowing which one you are running on in which part of your life, because trouble usually turns up where the outside pressure vanished and…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.

It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.

People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.

That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.

A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

If it has been on the list a year and nothing has moved, consider that you may have already decided. Saying so costs a good deal less than carrying it for another year.

Some items really are waiting for a better month. Others are quietly settled and only the guilt is still going round. You are allowed to say that the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 11:88

Decide now what you get if this is done by Friday, and what it costs you if it is not. Tell someone, so it is on the record.

The trouble with most jobs is that nothing happens either way, at least not for weeks. A deal made in advance puts a real consequence next to it: the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

An app can tell you what needs doing. It cannot make you want to do it. That gap is why the next one will disappoint you too.

Reminders, alarms and lists are genuinely good at the first job, so it is easy to assume a better one will finish the second. It will not, because…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Choosing the app, picking the colours, setting up the tags: that is the task avoiding you. It is interesting, it feels like preparation, and by bedtime nothing has been done.

New systems are enjoyable in a way the actual work never is, which is exactly why the evening goes that way. A useful test is whether anything on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

When something does not get written down, go back to that exact moment with curiosity rather than a telling off. What was in your hands, where were you, what did you tell yourself?

The useful information is all in the specifics: the request came in the corridor, the phone was in your other hand, you were already late. That is a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:24

We all keep a few small stories that let us take the easier option in the moment. Not lies to other people, just the ones we tell ourselves and half believe.

They are not a sign of a bad character. Everybody has a set, and what you have been through shapes which ones you specialise in. The reason to know…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

You are allowed to decide not to write things down. What you cannot do is choose that and then be upset with yourself when you forget.

Straddling is the expensive bit: taking the easy option in the moment and the guilt afterwards. Pick one honestly. Either the note gets written, or…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

Put the thing you are avoiding early in the day. Anything you place late gets pushed out by whatever the day turns into.

Early has two advantages at once. It is less likely to be shunted, because the day has not yet piled up behind it, and if it does slip it only slips…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.