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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices
Rituals of connection remove filterMe remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 6Five minutes 3Twenty minutes 4
Who it is written for · Me
My husband or wife 13Me 13
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 11On my own 2
Theme · Rituals of connection
Medication and how it works 91Staying regulated in conflict 60Systems for daily life 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Grounding and settling 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24Practising under provocation 22Treatment and medication 22Screens and attention 20What ADHD actually is 20Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Breathing 18Being seen and judged 18Making it stick 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17What worry does 15Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Treatment and medication 15Emotions as signals 14Breaking the worry loop 13Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Tolerate distress 9When you use something to cope 9Gratitude 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Let the wave come 3When anger turns to harm 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Ride the urge 2Ask and say no well 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Your window of tolerance 2Obsessions and compulsions 2The cost of avoiding 2Listen to the body 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Shame 1
Approach
Gottman 6Core 5Emotionally focused 2
When
Any ordinary day 7Coming and going 5Something good 1

Before you leave today, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face.

Not a shout from the door. A real parting, a word about when you will be back.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

When you come home today, find your spouse before anything else, and give a full minute.

Before the post, the phone, the fridge. Them first, with your eyes and attention.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Do not let leaving or arriving happen silently.

Today, mark both thresholds. Before you leave, find your spouse and say goodbye properly, face to face. When you come back, find them before you do…

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

When you come home, find them first, before the post, the phone, the kitchen.

The first half-minute of reunion often sets the tone for the whole evening.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Say plainly when you are here and for how long, so they never have to guess.

Naming your presence is a small gift that removes the guesswork of whether you are reachable.

A minuteRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 17:34

Before you part in the morning, take two minutes to learn one thing happening in your partner's day.

A short chat and a warm goodbye at parting keeps you connected through the hours apart.

A minuteRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 4:86

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Choose one small daily ritual and protect it this week. Same time, phones away.

The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.

Five minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:62

Go to bed at the same time tonight.

Small shared rhythms, sleeping and waking and eating together, are the scaffolding of closeness.

Five minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 30:21

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Mark one milestone together this month, however small, rather than letting it pass.

The anniversary, the finished project, the hard season survived. Pause and honour it.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 14:7

Share one meal today with nothing else happening, no screen, no rush.

Undivided attention over something ordinary is a small daily ritual of belonging.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionCoreQur’an 4:19

Keep a weekly date, just the two of you, to keep learning each other with open questions.

A regular two hours together, asking about dreams and hopes, keeps your map of each other current.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionGottmanQur’an 25:74

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.