Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

12 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Theme · Shame and stigma
Medication and how it works 91Staying regulated in conflict 60Systems for daily life 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Grounding and settling 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24Practising under provocation 22Treatment and medication 22Screens and attention 20What ADHD actually is 20Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Breathing 18Being seen and judged 18Making it stick 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17What worry does 15Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Treatment and medication 15Emotions as signals 14Breaking the worry loop 13Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Tolerate distress 9When you use something to cope 9Gratitude 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Let the wave come 3When anger turns to harm 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Ride the urge 2Ask and say no well 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Your window of tolerance 2Obsessions and compulsions 2The cost of avoiding 2Listen to the body 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Shame 1
When

ADD and ADHD are not two different things. ADD is the older public word for what is now called ADHD, inattentive type, and the quieter presentation is not a lighter version of it.

The mix up matters more than it sounds. Parents sometimes hear ADD and take it to mean something mild that will not need treatment, and school or…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 33:5

Manuals rename things. Paediatric bipolar became disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, whole categories were reshuffled to line up with the international classification, and none of it changed who anybody was.

If you have old paperwork carrying a label nobody uses now, that is bookkeeping rather than a hidden verdict on you. What is worth your attention is…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 17:84

Some people will not believe this exists whatever you show them. You are allowed to give a short honest answer and then let the conversation go.

Keep one or two plain facts ready for people who are genuinely curious, because that conversation is often worth having. It is a different…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 16:125

Talking a lot is on the diagnostic list. It sits with the impulsive symptoms, which makes it part of the condition rather than proof that you are self absorbed.

That reframe is worth having, because most people who do this have been told off for it for years and have drawn an unkind conclusion about…

A minuteShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 48:17

ADHD now sits with the neurodevelopmental conditions in the diagnostic manual rather than under disorders that begin in childhood. That move carries a claim worth hearing: this is about how a brain is built, and it does not stop at eighteen.

The older category quietly implied something you would grow out of, and plenty of adults were told exactly that. Shifting it means the evidence for a…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 95:4

If your version of this is fog, slowness and drifting off rather than restlessness, you are not a half case. Researchers are still arguing about whether that pattern is a subtype or something of its own.

The quiet presentation gets noticed late, because it disturbs nobody. It seems to sit alongside a different set of difficulties too, more inward than…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

The feeling that everyone else was handed a manual on how to be with people has a plain explanation. Most social rules are picked up by watching, and watching steadily is the hard part for you.

So the gaps are real rather than imagined, and they are gaps in information, not in worth. That is oddly good news, because information can be taught…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

The famous ADHD success stories are real and they are also the exception. The commoner story, for someone whose difficulty was never identified, is quietly dropping out of things and disappearing.

Both halves need saying. Strengths talk that only features the founder who made millions can turn an ordinary struggling week into a personal failure…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 12:87

Everyone is late sometimes and everyone gets forgiven for it. The catch is that the ordinary allowance runs on how often rather than how badly, and yours tends to be spent early in the month.

This is why behaviour people shrugged at last year gets a sharp response now, without anything about you having changed. Worth knowing, because the…

Five minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 24:22

Achievement does not cancel an old belief that you are a failure. People reach the very thing they were sure would fix it, feel nothing change, and quietly conclude that the problem must be them after all.

The belief was not built out of results, so results do not dismantle it. Anything good gets reattributed on the way in: luck, timing, other people…

Twenty minutesShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 49:13

The parts of this that look like lifestyle, meaning sleep, driving, drinking, appointments that get missed, are the parts carrying the most risk across a lifetime. They are also the most changeable parts.

You may have met a striking figure quoted about untreated ADHD and years of life lost. Take the point underneath rather than the number: risk from…

LongerShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 17:70

Getting your ordinary life a bit calmer is worth doing for its own sake. More sleep, a little more structure, food that is not all improvised. Not perfect, just good enough to work with.

It will not give you more capacity than you have. What it does is let you use more of what you already have, more of the time, which is usually the…

LongerShame and stigmaADHD skillsQur’an 3:135

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.