Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesHow long you have
Who it is written for · Someone I care about
Where you are right now · Struggling right now
Theme · Practising under provocation
When you catch yourself dodging, just note it. Telling yourself off adds shame to a moment that already had plenty going on.
There is a difference between seeing what you did and grading it. Seeing keeps it available as a choice next time, while grading makes you want to…
Be careful with the language about growing a thicker skin. Before anyone is asked to mind less, someone has to check that what they are minding really is only a slight.
Where the insults are discrimination, bullying or the run up to abuse, telling a person to toughen up is telling them to distrust an accurate reading…
A cut heals and you stop thinking about it. An insult has no moment where the body tells you it is over, so it stays available to be replayed for years.
That is worth knowing, because it explains why a remark from a decade ago can still tighten your chest, and why you are not weak for that. The…
People who get angry a lot are rarely hard. They are easily hurt, and the anger arrives about a second later to cover the hurt.
This changes what you work on. Instead of asking how to control the shouting, ask what keeps landing so easily and where that softness came from. If…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.