Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

90 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Systems for daily life
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64What anger actually is 58Your sense of time 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49What ADHD actually is 48Treatment and medication 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37When everything feels flat 34Grounding and settling 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32Reading, numbers and learning differences 31The fear underneath anger 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Cool the body first 25Shame and stigma 25Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24The cost of avoiding 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Shared spiritual life 16Facing it a step at a time 16Feeling from the inside 16Breaking the worry loop 16Fondness and admiration 14What you are actually defending 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 13Answering bids 12Tolerate distress 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7Question the thought 6When anger turns to harm 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Rebuilding trust 5Living with uncertainty 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Rest and pacing 3Repair after rupture 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Panic and the body 3Act on your values 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Keep the bond 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

Charge the phone in another room overnight. Not face down, not on the far side of the bed: another room, so that reaching it means standing up.

Distance is what does the work here, which is why the halfway versions never hold. If you use it as an alarm, a cheap clock settles that for the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3

Choose one person and tell them you will send the finished thing by a set time. Not a conversation about how it is going, just the file, the photo, or the word done.

The sending is the whole mechanism, so keep it small and exact: what, and by when. It does not have to be someone qualified to judge the work, and it…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:282

Reading a room is a skill rather than a personality trait, and it can be broken into parts. Before you speak, take a second to look: who is here, what they are doing, how loud the place is.

Give yourself a short list to run through. How are people dressed and speaking, is this somewhere jokes land, is anybody clearly in a hurry. Then…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

If you cannot start, the step is too big. Shrink it until it sounds daft: open the document, write the date, put one plate in the sink.

The catch is that the daft step has to be the whole of what you agreed to do, not a trick for getting yourself to do the enormous thing. Most days…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Praise the sitting down at the desk, not only the finished piece. If recognition only shows up when something is completed, most weeks it never shows up at all.

Say what you actually saw, and say it close to the moment: you sat down twice today when you clearly did not want to. Small rewards work too, as long…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Use a timer you can see rather than one you have to read. A dial where the coloured part shrinks tells you how much is left at a glance, with no arithmetic in the way.

Set it for the length of the task, or for the length you can stand, and leave it where your eye falls. A digital countdown asks you to work out what…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 27:40

When a young person tells you something in their own blunt words, meet them there. Laughing together buys more trust than a well judged correction ever will.

Correct the language and you sort yourself into the same bin as every other disappointed adult, and after that the useful information stops arriving.…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Put something you genuinely want at the end of the chain, and keep it where you can see it. A reward far off in the future is much the same as no reward at all.

Name it before you begin and write it at the top of the page. Keep it close: this evening rather than next term. It does not have to be impressive.…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Writing things down is not evidence that your memory has failed. It is what happens once there is more in your life than one head can hold.

Most people who refuse a system are protecting something: the sense of being capable, of not being the sort of person who needs help with this. Argue…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

Putting something in the diary does not guarantee it happens. It gives it a chance it did not have before. That is the honest promise, and it is still worth having.

Expect a fair few blocks to pass unused, particularly in the first month. That is not the system failing, it is the system doing what it does, which…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Putting a task in the diary is not the same as doing it. The slot holds the time. The starting is still yours.

Worth knowing before you build anything, because when the first week goes by with the boxes filled and half of them untouched, the honest conclusion…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

When something has sat undone for weeks, ask what next month's version of you would say about it. Relieved it is finished, or honestly indifferent?

If future you would be relieved, this is procrastination and it needs a hand: a smaller first step, a set time, someone alongside you. If future you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

An hour exists somewhere in the week for almost anything. That is what makes yes so easy, and it is not the same as having an hour.

The question that gets skipped is not whether the time exists but what is already claiming it. Answering that means calling to mind everything you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Practise one sentence until it comes out on its own: let me check and come back to you. It buys the few minutes you need to answer truthfully.

The moment of being asked is the hard part, because the yes is out of your mouth before any checking has happened. Having one phrase ready means you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Put the uncertainty at the front. Not Thursday, possibly Friday, most likely Monday is worth far more to the other person than a confident yes you cannot keep.

It feels worse to say, which is why people avoid it. But a hedge given early costs you nothing, while a promise broken later costs twice: the thing…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

The cheapest place to deal with a task is before it ever reaches your list. Some things are better declined in the moment they are offered.

Once something is written down it starts costing you. It gets read, moved to next week, copied out again, felt guilty about. Filtering at the door…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Score each target from one to five rather than done or not done, and have the teacher say a word about it and initial the sheet before the child leaves the room.

Half the work finished earns a three. That matters enormously for a child whose usual score would be nothing at all, because a pass or fail sheet…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

Let the child score themselves on the same sheet the teacher scores. Two columns, filled in separately, then looked at together.

At first the two columns can be miles apart, and that is the useful bit rather than a problem. Nobody is being caught out. Over the weeks the gap…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

Before anything else, check the child actually knows what the homework is. Most homework goes missing at that first step, not at the effort step.

It might be on the board, on the school portal or in the planner with the teacher having glanced at it, and any of those is fine as long as it can be…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Print the agreement out and stick it up where the child will see it. In a drawer it may as well not exist.

The moment that matters is the one where the console is right there and the maths is not started, and nothing you agreed a fortnight ago is in the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

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