Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

90 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Systems for daily life
Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90Your nervous system 87Get started 69Getting assessed and diagnosed 64What anger actually is 58Your sense of time 58Moving your body 56Exercise, food and other supports 55Food, caffeine and fuel 53The moment before you snap 49What ADHD actually is 48Treatment and medication 48Bringing the future closer 46Choosing your response 45Screens and attention 44Touch and bodywork 38Equanimity and perspective 37When everything feels flat 34Grounding and settling 34Structure and routine 33Feelings and focus 32Reading, numbers and learning differences 31The fear underneath anger 31Practising under provocation 30Growing empathy 29What worry does 26Cool the body first 25Shame and stigma 25Being seen and judged 24Breathing 24Making it stick 24The cost of avoiding 24Treatment and medication 23Remembering to do it 20Knowing your partner 20When you use something to cope 19Shared spiritual life 16Facing it a step at a time 16Feeling from the inside 16Breaking the worry loop 16Fondness and admiration 14What you are actually defending 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 13Answering bids 12Tolerate distress 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Listening and understanding 10Gratitude 9Posture and how you carry yourself 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Shame 7Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7Question the thought 6When anger turns to harm 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Rebuilding trust 5Living with uncertainty 3When you go numb 3Your worth is not conditional 3Rest and pacing 3Repair after rupture 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Panic and the body 3Act on your values 2Work with your brain 2Meaning after harm 2Keep the bond 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Safety and grounding 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

Book time on your own the way you would book anything else. Not as a reward for having finished everything, and not only once you are already frayed.

Overwhelm often comes from the sheer volume of contact rather than from the work: lectures, housemates, group chats, the phone going all evening.…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

If it is out of sight it is gone, so build the system around what you can see. Clothes on an open shelf and books in the drawer is a perfectly good arrangement when that is what works.

Tidy usually means hidden, which is why so much storage quietly fails. Try the opposite: hooks instead of hangers, open boxes, a clear jar, one bowl…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59

Some days fill up entirely with things that were urgent for somebody else. Practise saying not now to other people, and to the version of you that opens one more tab.

For one afternoon, write down every time you get pulled away and who did the pulling: a colleague, a notification, or you. Most people are surprised…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Before asking for something new, find out what has already been agreed. A great many adjustments sit unused on paper because the student was never told, or the teacher was never told.

Get hold of the actual document and read it properly. Extra time, a quiet room, not being made to read aloud, notes given in advance: these are often…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 18:95

Find out how long you actually last before your mind wanders somewhere nicer, then make that your block. If the honest answer is eleven minutes, work in elevens.

Most people set twenty five minutes because a website said so, fail at it daily, and conclude they are hopeless. Time yourself honestly across a few…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

If you take medication, work out when it actually comes on and when it fades, then put the demanding work inside that window. Spending your best hours on email is a waste of something limited.

Track it for a week. What time did it start, when did the edge come off, when were you flagging. Then build the day around the answer: the thinking…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Put small obstacles between the urge and the doing. One browser used only for work, tempting apps buried three folders down, notifications off for anything that is not an actual person you love.

None of this stops a determined person and it is not meant to. It adds four seconds, and four seconds is often enough for the urge to lose its grip.…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:283

Some things only happen when another person is there, even if they are doing something entirely different. Ring a friend and clean your two kitchens together with the phone on the counter.

This works for studying, tidying, paperwork and the weekly shop, because what you are borrowing is presence rather than help. Agree a start time and…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2

Ask what is working and what is not, rather than whether you did well or badly. The first question you can answer honestly. The second one you will lie to yourself about.

At the end of a week, three questions. What went better than I expected. What got in the way. What is the one thing I want to change. Notice where…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Start at the moment you have to be there and work backwards, writing each step and how long it takes, until you reach the hour you have to get up.

Interview at ten. Twenty five minutes on the train, ten minutes walking, fifteen minutes early to be safe, twenty five to dress and eat, and the…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 96:4

A calendar holds things that happen at a time. A list holds things that must get done but not at any particular hour. Put both in one place and you break both.

When everything goes in the calendar, the real appointments get lost among forty invented blocks. When everything goes on the list, the dentist at…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:282

If you keep it all in your head, it is worth asking who else is keeping it. Very often somebody nearby is doing the remembering, and neither of you has ever said so out loud.

This matters because from outside it looks like coping, right up until that person is away, unwell or worn out by it. Ask the plain question at home:…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 42:38

A task with no time attached has nothing to bring it back to you. Give it an hour, Friday two until three, and the diary carries it instead of your memory.

Do this on a Sunday with the list in front of you. Not everything needs a slot, only the things that have been sliding from week to week. Be honest…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 6:59

When someone asks for an hour of your time, your head searches for a clash, finds nothing, and says yes. A calendar with everything already in it turns that guess into something you can look at.

The trick is to put in the whole of your life, not only the appointments other people gave you. Travel, meals, the school run, the hour you actually…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:282

Read down a long to-do list and you will find things belonging to a person you were three years ago. Some of them were never good ideas. They got written down anyway.

Seeing the list that way makes deleting bearable. You are not abandoning your ambitions, you are letting go of ideas that arrived on a hopeful…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

A healthy list loses items as well as gaining them. Some leave because they are done and some because they did not survive the week. Both are normal.

If the only way something can leave your list is by being completed, the list can only grow, and every glance at it will feel worse than the last…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:280

A pile is mostly decisions you have not made. You did not know what to do with the thing, so you put it down there to sort out later, and later has not arrived.

Read that way, tidying stops being about tidiness. The job is not moving things around, it is making forty small decisions you have been putting off.…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

A task needs smoothing at both ends. If it looks big and horrible you will not begin it, and if the middle is full of snags you will not see it through.

These are two different problems and people usually only work on one. Making the start smaller helps you begin: open the document, write one line.…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Start with less work than they can manage, not more, and add back slowly. Break the long jobs into pieces small enough that each one can be finished and noticed.

Setting the first week deliberately below capacity feels like giving in. What it actually does is produce a run of finished things, and a child who…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 22:78

Teach the school's online system properly, once, and then treat it as something known. I do not know how to use it cannot stay true forever.

Sit down together and go through it: where assignments appear, how to see what is due, what to do when it will not load. Until that has happened,…

Twenty minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 27:40

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.